Been so long wince I blogged my feelings and aspirations down. Maybe its due in part to my current job/holiday in France and also the fact I have nothing noteworthy to write because I'm stuck in a rut for 4 weeks until I return to my spiritual home of Sheffield.

At the minute, I'm suffering a crisis of confidence with my Japanese (mainly because I haven't studied at all for a week now.) I am also feeling pretty shitty about being single because its timeｓ like this, I just want to ring some girl up and do something mind numbingly boring. At least female company can keep me sane and not incessantly ruminating over my work.

So aside from ducking and weaving all these kanji compounds and vocab (*urgh*)　I am starting to plan my trip next summer. So far I'm working out the logistics and its going okay. I'm intending to make it up as a go along, although funds may hamper my attempts to backpack across SE Asia and most of Europe by train. I may negate visiting SE Asia altogether however I know I really want to go - even if it bankrupts me before I go to Japan.

And on the notion of that, I might not even go to Japan if I keep on feeling really low about my Japanese ability. I really want to pass this year, just to give myself a feeling that I am able to do this. I passed the first year okay - but something tells me until my exams in January, I still won't feel 100% confident about things. There is no question I feel much more confident going into this year than the first year. I feel a certain level of superiority now and almost a burden to be something greater. Maybe things will fall into place now, who knows... I have certainly got rid of my previous hangups now - and just want to slide into the second year and make the most of it. If I fail, I fail - but I want to do so without feeling like shit all the time.

Well, as for my round the world trip, I have sought out companies and providers who can get me to Moscow in 3 days from London (for the pricey sum of £188! which doesn't include visa fees for Belarus + 3 days worth of food) and now I have to work out the complicated matter of stopping off in Irkutsk (near Lake Baikal) and Ulan Bator before I end up Beijing. The rest may just be made up on the spot. Well, anyway - the very worst I can do is end up Beijing and tour around China until I go to Japan, although the trip across Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand and Malaysia is one I really want to do. If I could get to Moscow for under £100 on plane, I would happily negate my devotion to the train and end up flying. It might be much cheaper for me in the long-run. I'm not going to visit any of the countries I pass through (France, Belgium, Germany, Poland, Belarus) so maybe I should fly straight to Moscow instead.

Finally, Yukari said she would be coming to the UK in November. As much as I believe her, I don't think she will come (its very expensive for just one week.) I'm playing my cards close to my chest with regards to her at the minute, because something is praying on my mind with her. She clearly likes me, but we'll have to see how much she likes me. Women eh? Aren't they just the greatest?

PS: My contract for my flat was finally e-mailed and I'll be moving in on the 13th! Finally!