Wow. Well sadly the blog was supposed to be updated regularly during my first few weeks in Japan. But sadly to my horror I discovered my flat wasn't equipped with the internet, meaning a three week stay of execution from the world wide web. Well anyways, I am now in the swing of things at uni here in Japan and have a great 100mb fibre-optic line into my room. So I'll just give a quick rundown of my previous three weeks in a general summise.
Where I'm living.
I am living in the pleasantry comfort of a place called Ikuta, in northern Kawasaki just a little under 15 mins away by train from my university in Setagaya. The place is basic as hell and so far I've had two cockroach attacks (one on my first night!) The town itself is pretty small but home to lots of students, as its situated near to one of Meiji University's campuses. In fact I can see one of the buildings from across my balcony.
Its also pretty cool as most of the people living in my little appartment/guest-house are mostly Japanese. There are a few Taiwanese and one Indonesian I think.
Seijo
So far the experience has been a little awkward, especially given that I am one of four, yes FOUR exchange students here. This means that many people know me, but I sure as hell don't know them. Whilst its nice have some form of minor celeb status its really annoying and sometimes a bit off-putting. One thing I'm slowly having to get used to is the constant staring when I'm walking to class, eating lunch or basically doing the most mundane, banal crap imaginable.
Every Monday and Thursday at lunch-time we have these little language/cultural exchange things with our Japanese teacher, where obviously we get together and speak Japanese and chat with Japanese people. Whilst this is good, again its a little awkward because there are so few exchange students. Last week, it was me fielding rapid-fire questions from four girls. It was kinda embarassing, especially when your Japanese fails you.
This was the same for our orientation three weeks ago, when some of the students showed us around the campus and Seijo itself. it was like 4 people to say something like 20 people. Argh. But I seriously can't fault them, they were fantastic, I just felt sorry that all their hardwork and preparation was for just four people.
The students you meet here are completely fascinated by you though. You end up wanting to do something else and suddenly it turns into a conversation about what Japanese food you like and where you want to visit in Japan. Yesterday, whilst i was at our exchange office, I was randomnly introduced to a girl who was interested in going to Sheffield next year as a exchange student. After about a minute, the conversation veered from Sheffield and suddenly became about me and what my hobbies are.
Whilst I am on the subject of that, the academic staff here at Seijo are just unbelievable. They will go completely out of their way to help you. They'll help you sign up for societies, help you sign any tricky forms in Japanese and show you around campus and help you out with absolutely any problems you have as a forienger in Japan. Although the uni here is small (something like 5,000 students) one of the benefits is that the staff know you pretty well.
As for the whole 'international bubble' that some people maybe having as a student in Japan, I can safely say that is not the case at Seijo. With the exception of one of my teachers, two of the exchange staff and select bunch of cute girls in one of my classes - practically no-one speaks English here. And that is not an understatement. They just don't speak it and when they do, its kinda basic - although I am finding that they are very reluctant to speak it, even when their English is really good.
Its great for me though to practice Japanese, although it is very, very tiring sometimes.
The classes
So far I am taking four classes, 日本語Ｂ (Nihongo B), 日本語コミュ二ケーション (Nihongo Communication), Contemporary Society and Anthropology of Japan.
Nihongo B is basically our grammar classes, hosted by Toyama-sensei, who is really lively and makes the classes at least half interesting despite the easy content. Because there are no placement tests at Seijo we are pretty much doing first year grammar which is really annoying, because its painfully easy. However the stuff like speaking Japanese in class and to the staff, students etc kinda makes up for that. Seijo is a really good place if you wanna improve your spoken Japanese.
This is highlighted in Nihongo Communication, which unlike Nihongo B, is really fecking hard. We get tons of vocab for this and are expected to start speaking in Japanese throughout the class, discussing various topics and commenting on things. Its a really rewarding class but its such a pain due to its intensity and the content.
The other two classes are sorta special modules which we have to do and are kinda pointless. The only good thing is that they are with regular Japanese students. One is in English and the class there (which is full of Japanese girls - yes I know what you are thinking, but please don't say it) is more about learning about our various cultures and acts as a sorta cultural exchange thing. Sad thing is, only three of the four exchange students take it. The other girl who is French doesn't have to do it, meaning again its about four Japanese to one foreigner. Last week I didn't go because of a prior engagement and one of the remaining two exchange students was sick, meaning that only one turned up! All that cultural exchange nonsense for nothing. Honestly, the module is kinda crap and I'm only taking it because there are hot girls there. What? Oh shut the fuck up...!
The remaning module is kinda cool and I've made some friends in that class already. The only problem is the content. Its mostly what I did for Contemporary Japanese Society at Sheffield last year. Its a bilingual class meaning we talk in English and Japanese and is chaired by Toyama-sensei, our incredible driving force in Seijo so far.
To add to all this, our classes are 90 minutes long, and we do two back to back, meaning I do three hours of consecutive Japanese every morning except Wednesday. Quite frankly it just kills you and makes the 50 minute lectures I get in Sheffield, child-like in comparison.
The Japanese
I can't faul them really. They are really great. But the only annoying things are the out-right xenophobic/annoying stuff tends to come from my two greatest enemies, school-girls and old people. Generally, schoolgirls think of you like some type of hilarious doll to look at and giggle whereas old people have mixed opinions but mostly seem to stare through you with a glare of steel that suggests "get the hell out of my country!" whenever you make a culutral faux-pas. ouch!
Fyi though: The girls here in Tokyo are smoking hot. But that's not the reason I'm here. *ahem*
Food
Taking a while to get used to. So far I'm liking the food in Seijo cafeteria, its really good value and really yummy. Plus the rice in Tokyo is smoking hot. But that's not the reason I'm here. *ahem*
I've managed to lose about 4 kilos in weight so far, thanks to Japanese food which is a lot less lighter in terms of fat content, plus the fact I am sweating out the remaining energy through walking everywhere and this stupid humidity.
Typhoons
Well, Typhoon Melor, or 'number 18' if you are the boring Japanese has just passed after battering its way across the main island of Honshu. It was fairly scary but nothing encroaching a major disaster zone similar to the one in the Phillipines recently. The amount of rain that fell was more worrying than the wind, which was most violent at about 7am this morning once the rain had subsided. Thankfully, my classes were cancelled today so I was spared from having a treachous journey into campus. Sadly the puddle outside my door is still there, although I really don't know how the hell my room did not get flooded. Japanese houses are really built for this type of weather though, meaning that as a British person I wasn't fearing a disaster like whenever the UK gets any strong weather.
Once the typhoon had passed about 12pm JST, the skies brightened up and brought with it those lovely gusts of warm air that had greeted me when I first arrived in Japan. The foreceast now looks really good for the rest of the week, although there is still a little bit of intermitment shittiness in the skies.
Overall, the weather is a lot nicer than the UK. Especially on a night, when you can walk around in a t-shirt and not feel really cold. But I will not hear any comments from a Japanese person that it rains too much in the UK!
Conclusion
My first few weeks in Japan have been pretty eye-opening and much of it getting into the swing of things and doing various mundane things, like registrating as a foreigner and sorting my phone and banking out. I've not had much chance to visit any of the real touristy places yet, mainly due to time constraints and not getting my scholarship until November. So far I've been to Yokohama, Shibuya, Shinjuku and Akihabara. I'm really finding it hard to find the time to actually STUDY japanese despite the fact I am using it every day know. I think my grammar has hit a top-level now and right now I just want to cram vocab like there is no tomorrow as it is the one thing escaping me right now. So whilst, being in Japan is certainly cool, especially being just a 20 minute train ride away from Shinjuku, its a little bit of balancing the books between asobi and study. So far, its something which I'm trying to work out and perfect in the coming weeks. I still feel a little bit like a tourist rather than a student. Despite what my passport says...
Yes I'm in Japan!
Its come as a bit of a shock really as the time has flown by and I can't believe I'm here. No more than three days ago my world was shook upside down by the story that I was getting a JASSO scholarship of around 80,000 yen a month (albeit half of last year's figure due to the recession) and then because of this, I got told I would be relocating to Kawasaki instead of Setagaya. This, THREE days before I was supposed to leave. Not the best of timing really.
And thus the Friday that news was broken came Sunday - the day I leave this beautiful country to say hello to a country I am being told I should love.
Well it started with a bang really and I can't believe its so soon since I said goodbye to my parents and I am here now in Tokyo - the fair capital of Japan. What the hell happened? How did it happen. Is this a dream?
The day started with me getting on a domestic flight from Newcastle to London Heathrow and then onto Tokyo-Narita. The first leg started off well as I went through without any hassle. The guy didn't even bother to check my passport because it was a British one. More worrying is that this was a case and not even the real passport. Oh well.
Once we landed in Terminal 5, I decided to try and craftily go through some lifts meant for security personnel. Oops and then almost took the wrong train to terminal 3. Double oops. However the triple oops and the unbelievable strike-out for dumbness came when I tried to check into the JAL flight and couldn't find my passport. 5 minutes of frantic searching and pure embarrassment, I forgot I had hidden in the many layers of my laptop case. These layers and the notorious passport grab will come to haunt me through the entire procedure of Japan so far.
So after some quick beers and a stroll around Heathrow - which might I add was absolutely boring, I boarded a 11 and 45 minute flight. Yes an 11 and 45 minute flight. Let me just say this, there is no way in hell I'm doing that again - with that leg room. Fine for a small Japanese person. But I'm lanky gaijin twat so there is no way I'm doing that again for fear of my legs becoming crippled by a lack of blood. This thing is getting upgraded to premium economy the moment I fly back. I don't know how I survived. It felt like I was on the flight for days just getting to Estonia, let alone the middle of Siberia.
I ended up watching the new Wolverine film, which was shit, and then Night at the Museum 2, which was equally as shit and then Angels and Demons which started off alright but then descended into the realms of shitness. Thankfully only back to the future 2 (with Japanese subtitles saved the day) but sadly it was too late. I was about to land in Tokyo, well Chiba which is bloody miles away.
I don't know why, but you think once you reach the eastern edge of Russian you think you should be there in Japan in no-time, which is a load of bollocks really. It takes bloody ages, although actually flying over the island of Japan, from Niigata to Chiba is really really short - sometimes you forget how small the island is in terms of width.
Once you land in Japan, the Japanese efficiency machine kicks in and let me tell you it fires off like an electro beam of smiles and 'okayusama' (honoured customers.) If only I wasn't so stupid not to fill the customs and entry forms out I would have been through even quicker. Firstly, was the infra-red scan to check for swine-flu with plenty of Japanese staff on board wearing masks, handing out their own little masks and generally striking the living fear of god into your lungs. Then onwards to the immigration check, and IF you fill out your card properly it takes about seven seconds even with a student visa. One fingerprint check, one photo of my ugly mug and a nice 'thank you come again'. Then, you go to the customs deck and IF, you fill out the card properly it takes about seven seconds even with a few bottles of vodka. *hic* This process was complicated by me, putting my passport away as some sort of bizarre security reflex only to have it removed again at every single check-point.
By this time of fannying about with the patented passport reflex, I was busting and then burst into the nearest lavs right across from my baggage claim area. The odd thing is, Narita provided the standard western toilet and the good ol' squat and thrust methods you see outta of the early Meiji period or the rural areas of France. I was busting, but I was not busting to go whole hog on the whole cultural experience of shitting in a traditional loo on my first few seconds in the country.
So after releasing a gigantic camel-style 11 hour 45 minute piss collection out of my bladder, I hurried out to the baggage claim to see that I was one of the lucky few to have had their bags singaled out for the "IS THIS YOUR LUCKY BAG?" draw. Yes! I must have won something. Well no in fact, the dreams of a nice 50,000 yen cash reward or even two weeks in Okinawa was simply a JAL company point of telling you that you were too bloody slow to collect your baggage, otherwise we will sell it off as a cash prize. Cue lots of shouting by the staff in keigo. Wonderful stuff.
Out of the arrivals and you head straight into the main area where you can buy Narita express tickets. Narita Express is great, not only is it relatively quick and easy, but its air-conditoned and it heads straight to the major stations in Tokyo. Not bad for around 20 quid (2900 yen-ish) It also passes quickly over the Shibuya crossing, which sent my heart a flutter after the rows and rows of the grimey Chiba landscape. True that's Japan but you want something a bit of a 'wow' factor once you get to Tokyo. The experience of landing at Narita is kinda underwhelming really as you don't pass over Tokyo and you don't see jack from the airplane. You may as well be landing in Shizuoka really, sorry Shizuoka.
Its all a bit surreal really. Shinjuku. Just walking through Shinjuku station is mental. The amount of people, the amount of young girls wanting me to buy anki-pan. The amount of mobile-phones. The amount of trains and exits. After a while I did find my way out after traversing what seemed like endless streets and shops. Shinjuku is not really a mind-blowing district of Japan but it is very very Japanese with its endless little shops and restaurants, large scale buildings and lots of hustle and bustle - but no way near Shibuya levels, which is where every single young person goes on their nights out.
The hotel I'm staying at is not far from the Hanazono shrine, but the thing is there are two problems to getting to my hotel successfully. Firstly, there is the distance, which although appears small on the map is bloody mind-numbingly quite far in Tokyo. And secondly, there is the fact that muggins here is carrying a giant fucking laptop, several items of electrical equipment, a 15kg rucksack and some duty free. Its just a bit of a disaster really. Argh. Anyways, I found my hotel, because thankfully they have a gigantic sign which you see right from the other end of the Meiji-dori. You really cannot miss it. The joys of booking with a decent hotel has paid dividends. But don't let that fool you, its as the Japanese say 'taihen kurushii' (bloody painful)
So I checked in and once again had to the gaijin-thing of registering my passport number and then had to go through the process of juggling bottles of alcohol and paperwork but by this time the passport reflex was at a much higher level and I managed to whip out my bad boy and sign the forms.
The room I'm staying at is pretty small, very small by western standards. However this is probably a private condominium in Japan. Its just a bed and as all you sad bastards are aware of, a fucking creepy toilet too. So I set down my things and within two seconds I had managed to select the porn channels on the TV, completely unintentional mind you. *ahem* I just farted around with trying to find the volume and instead hit the 'yuu-ryou' (pay per view channels.) Thankfully I didn't decide to go further and pay some extra yen to see some pixelated blurbs spit roasting a Japanese girl. They give you one free minute and after that it tells you to pay. Incidentally if you do want to pay, you have to go out back and put your money into a vending machine to get a card which allows you to watch it. I'm not joking btw... and no I did not do this.
Because it was really late I headed up for a small ten minute walk to the konbini I passed, which is sort of a midget konbini really as it just stocks small little items and is dwarfish to a regular Lawson you see dotted around Japan. Anyhoo, I ended buying two bottles of coke which came to a pound each (welcome to Tokyo Rich) and some bizarre snacks and treats which altogether came to about £7.50. I can't be arsed getting a meal. Its about 7pm local time and I'm just tired and a bit thirsty. Shinjuku will be there for a while at least.
Weather-wise I can't see the fuss. It is eaxctly like the UK. Its humid but not killer humid. It was a cool 24 last night and it stays this way most of the night and without the sun you can hang around with a t-shirt watching men stroll out of izakaya's across the road for some cafty cigs as the hordes of keitai-toting girls line the streets. Its not hot, but its not cold either. Its just ideal strolling weather.
Well tommorrow is an even bigger day. I have to locate the Odawara line in Shinjuku station, which is not part of the JR line and hence a bastard to find and then head out to Ikuta and ring up my Japanese hosts who will accomodate me in a nice little mansion (aka: flat) in the outskirts of Kawasaki, which is about 6km from my university in Japan (about 20 minutes on the train) and about 30 minutes from Yokohama, again a city I know little about, was promised something there and so far have been shot in the stomach by a certain little miss ignoremelots over there. I hope to good I run into her in her place of work, I hope I make it look catastrpophic as well - especially if she refuses to acknowledge I exists. For I am okaykusama now. Haha. Oh well, that's another story for another day.
26 hours and no sleep, so I'm off to bed to nurse a bit of this jet-lag. Jaa ne.
Well today (or tonight) Japan has decided to shoot themselves in the foot by electing Yukio Hatoyama as the new Prime Minister. The news is impressive because it ousts the LDP (Liberal Democratic Party) after over 60 years in power. The DJP (the democratic party of Japan) has won with a land-slide victory, ushering a rather uneasy change and shift in political power.
I don't think foreigners need worry though, if anything the new party is going to bend over backwards to make sure Japan gets ruined by foreign influence in Japan, especially from China and Korea.
The BBC however decided to report the party as 'young' and 'vibrant'. A significant change in power, even going as far to compare it to New Labour's election in 1997 and Obama in the US.
I almost choked....
What? Am I reading and understanding this the same way? 'Young' - Hatoyama is in his 60's. 'Vibrant' - Hatoyama is the stiffest most wooden person in the world. A plank has more charisma than he does. So maybe they are 'fresh'. Fresh? Hatoyama's grandfather was a prime minister in the 1950's and he comes from the same political back-scratching background as the staid and corrupt politicians from the dying oligrachy he claims he wants to oust. He studied at the most prestigious university in Japan and holds a PhD from Stanford. Yes, a real socialist, a man of the people.
Hatoyama represents a real worry for Japan, because he is an alternative purely because he is an alternative and nothing more. Embittered and battled current PM, Taro Aso probably offers no answers to Hatoyama's questions but does it not discount the fact that Hatoyama doesn't really know what the correct questions are in the first place. Only late into the election process did the DJP ramp up their own manifesto than simply billing themselves as 'seiken koudai' (a change in government.)
I think Hatoyama's policies are brilliantly shown here (albeit in a LDP advert) where Hatoyama is serving patrons in a ramen restaurant. If you don't know the context, ramen is a highly popular noodle dish that contains many different types of things with many local variants. Japanese people are very proud of their local ramen and what goes into their ramen.
Woman: Excuse me.
Hatoyama: Ah welcome. Its been a long-time. You know, I'm not just some mouth-piece, I'm working on some policies.
Woman: Well, can you please show me them?
Hatoyama: This restaurant's specialty! Which is my manifesto! It is the one thing that will win me the election. *shows her a giant ramen dish*
First customer: Ah, there's not enough oil in this! (a reference to his attitude to potential dwindling fuel imports from the Middle-east)
Hatoyama: Don't worry, I'll add some oil.
Second customer: Err, excuse me. Should you being use that much oil?
Hatoyama: Ah okay. I'll stop adding oil.
Third customer: This is has no local flavour to it? (reference to the decentralisation of the government in rural areas.)
Hatoyama: Ah here you go, look. *adds various vegetables*
Fourth customer: There is no taste to this don't ya think?
Hatoyama: Ah, here you go look. *adds salt and soy-sauce*
Fifth customer: Please make this easier even for a child to understand.
Hatoyama: Well then.... I'll just sprinkle 26,000 yen's worth of furikake onto this. (furikake is a type of dried seaweed that you sprinkle as condiment. 26,000 refers to the potential tax increases as result of increasing child benefit costs)
Woman: Wait a minute. Isn't that a completely different dish from the beginning?
Hatoyama: No, no. This is the thing I showed you at the beginning.
Woman: Really?
Slogan: Just opposing the opposition, makes nobody happy.
Policies that do not sway. The LDP.
And thus it begins. Three weeks to go and I guess I should really get going and start to obtain the holy-grail for Japan. My student visa. I had my certificate of eligibility ready and was primed to turn it into a visa. To do this I had to visit the consulate in Edinburgh rather than the fancy one in London like everyone else because I am true northerner.
Edinburgh was a place of what might have been, given the fact that I once applied there to study Japanese but got rejected. (I still maintain that I would be a Manchester student had they not decided to reject me without interview.) So given this fact, it was curious to see what I would make of Edinburgh proper in all its glory.
The first day that welcomed me however wouldn't leave me with an overwhelming positive initial impression as it pissed it down in true British summer style with the run slewing down the cobbled streets and bouncing of the pavement. It was also pretty cool with the wind not biting off the Firth of Forth but leaving the air with a clear mild chill about it, the weather itself lacking the sort of mild summer heat you get in England.
Overall, Edinburgh seemed like a rather grey and drab Victorian city, that slopes up and down (although as a Sheffield student - these hills seemed rather tame.) True, the views from the top of the castle were stunning as you look out onto the Firth but I was constantly thinking about the relative size of the city. Admittedly, I was going on the basis of central Edinburgh but on a whole it appeared rather small as a capital city, and is dwarfish to somewhere like Glasgow.
Edinburgh castle (d'oh!)
At this time of year, the city is overran by summer tourism plus the onslaught of those coming to the annual festival. Perhaps I'm being a little harsh in hindsight, given the circumstances of when I went, but it was pretty fecking busy and very annoying when you are trying to find the Japanese consulate only having to stop in the middle of a street because a large group of Indian tourists want to take a picture.
Seriously... tourists, especially those from abroad are just annoying. I don't mind fellow Scots and other Brits doing the tourist thang there, because they at least know how to handle the rule of the land - which is don't get the way of other people. The tourist scene would haunt me for quite a while as I seldom heard a Scottish accent for the first few hours I was in the city.
So onwards to my hotel, which was located just North of Princes street (the main street in Edinburgh) and situated rather conveniently in a quite plush area of the city. My hotel had the advantage of being next door to a Russian greengrocers, a Dutch art-museum and a Korean restaurant. Ideal if you wake up the middle of the night wanting some kimchee and have an urge to view Van Gough whilst chewing on some spitting tobacco from Murmansk.
Because I had arrived pretty late due to a combination of a train-delay and waiting for the absolutely shocking weather to subside, I decided to get my visa at the consulate the following morning once my house was in order and I had located where I needed to go. Nothing worse that routing around for a place you don't know in the middle of Scottish rain. If for whatever reason you live in God's country (aka the North) and you need to go to the Japanese consulate in Edinburgh (for JET interview); you would do best to follow my advice.
1. Head out from Edinburgh Waverly station taking the exit out onto Princes Street.
2. Climb the monstrously large stairs that takes you up to the road, avoiding the hoard of American tourists with those annoying small hand luggage that could house a Chihuahua.
3. Turn left following the tram-line that should be on your left-hand side (or what is currently the tram-line being constructed)
4. Keep going past the JD sports, Boots and tacky tourist shops.
5. Soon, the road should diverge into three ways, there is a street called Queensberry Road which is the middle of all these three roads. Take this road.
6. Head up this road and pass a Clydesdale Bank on your left.
7. Soon you will come to a road that leads to the left, which is called Melville Street.
8. Turn left down this road. You'll know if its the right road because its full of embassies and consulates. The Taiwanese one is the first one you should see. There is also the Italian and Russians ones down here to.
9 Carry on down this road passing the classy law-firms. You should see a giant Church in the distance.
10. The consulate is to the right of the church, and obviously has a large Japanese flag outside.
11. Cross the road and ring the door-ball to get in.
12. Get your visa. Its like going to the bank and making a withdrawal.
Well the entire process of getting a visa took me all but 5 minutes. I arrived at 9.30am and there was only me and a security guard for company. It was all rather amusing tbh. The place is tiny and like I say is just a small bank with loads of Japanese writing. It has the stiffy air of Japanese beaucracy about it.
Well I now lose my passport for 5 working days and paid £10.80 for the processing and postage of my passport with visa. So I am now on tenderhooks until the passport comes back. It shold be back by Next Monday, which leaves only 13 days before I actually leave!
After the antics of the night before I was slightly worried that I would miss getting to the consulate on time. I actually 'ran into' my ex-girlfriend, well this is a bit of mis-story. I dated for her about 2 months sometime after leaving my serious girlfriend of two and half years and was probably the last romantic interest of note until girlwhohappenstoignoremeonadailybasis showed up. Plus, it wasn't an accident, I knew from a friend she would be in Edinburgh and decided it would be nice to meet up. Anyways, she was in Edinburgh due to the festival and has been working for a theatre company since she graduated from York Uni last year. We went to a few bars, caught up, talked about the past three years since we last saw each other (!) and I avoided getting terribly drunk and saying something stupid (normally do that when I'm sober tbh.) I did however, make a promise to see her show, which I horribly agreed to in that pastiche English way and then tumbled back to my digs down the famed Edinburgh slope and past the Russian 'magazheen' and into my bed. Rather weirdly despite the five pints I consumed I didn't feel drunk or dizzy but one thing was for certain I could not sleep on that bed at all. I'm a stickler when it comes to new sleeping environments they are a pain. Upon waking up and going to the consulate, I felt fine but upon returning home the hangover kicked in, in some weird delayed Scottish reaction.
It was a shame because I couldn't use my gift. A nice Celtic designed hip-flask and a bottle of Glenfiddich. Oh yes! That baby is going to do me well in Tokyo when I need to kill a few braincells due to the crushing weight of expectation.
Overall the experience of Edinburgh has actually taught me some curious things.
1. Edinburgh was clearly not better than Sheffield. Screw you UCAS.
2. I hate tourists and crowds but then I'm going to Tokyo... let's just hope that there aren't that many annoying tourists there. I guess the distance would mean I'm less likely to run into Spanish or French teenagers talking really loud and cutting past you on the street.
3. Its going to take a while to adjust to sleeping on a really shitty bed.
4. Alcohol is not my best friend. But then again its probably my closest friend.
5. Meeting ex-girlfriends can be fun.
6. I actually don't give two shits about women anymore. Especially ones from Japan.
7. They actually ID you in Edinburgh city centre. They ID'ed my ex (she is pretty petite though) and then a couple of girls got refused service for not being able to prove their age.
8. Alcohol can affect you 24 hours later. Possibly just Scottish alcohol though.
9. Japanese visas are easy to get; provided you filled out all the forms correctly (I failed to fill one section right and had to put 'n/a' on the form. (!)
10. Edinburgh is still ridiculously far from Middlesbrough. Just under 3 hours.
Yes its been overused by the lovable internet community and those going to or living in Japan. But I don't care. I remember watching this the first time it came out as a BBC three launch programme (!) and laughed myself silly.
So altogether now;
We'll I've been to a lot places in this big ol' world but I've never seen a place like this,
The buildings are kinda tall and the people are kinda small
And everybody eats a lot of fish
The streets are pretty busy, it can make you awful dizzy
When you're trying to find your way around
So here's a little rhyme, You can use it all the time
When you're lost in Tokyo town
[※ Wakarimashita
Wakarimasen
Wakarimasu ka?
Ah, doko desu ka?
Itsu desu ka
Nani desu ka?]
Its a fascinating city but it looks a little shitty
When its raining and its grey
When the sun's gone sinking and the lights are all a blinking
And baby it looks okay
Well they say its futuristic but its also innovistic
Its a contradictory place
When I'm walking through Shibuya, feel like singing Hallelujah
Even though theres limited space
※ Repeat
Omotesando!
Ikebukuro!
Shinjuku!
Harajuku!
Meguro!
Hibiya!
Roppongi!
Ginza!
Ebisu!
Mita!
Ueno!
Akebanebashi!
※ Repeat
Suimiiiiiimaaaaasseeeeeen!
Recently I keep getting asked or often yelled at people "Why do you hate Japan", normally after that a "OMG" is added. These people often have no chin and tend to have no soul or sense of humour as well.
Now whilst I do enjoy a good ol' rant against Japan and Japanese related things now and again, I never said I hated Japan - so that's a clear illusion. I mean why spent all those ten minutes of life creating a blog with the word Japan in the title and rag on Japan, unless I was some sort of Chinese historical revisionist site.
To lighten the mood a bit against my previous no-holds bar rant against something Japan related here's why I actually like Japan and Japanese and why I am spending so much of my life doing what I do (even though it kills me somedays.)
1. Japan is actually quite a nice country. yes it has its bad-points but its one of the more advanced nations on the planet and is theoretically westernised. Its got a great eco-system and has nice weather compared to the UK.
2. Japanese people are very patient towards people like me who stumble around the language and culture despite a greta urge to learn more from it. They respond deeply to the inner souls and harmony of the group in Japan and have deeper respect other people because of it - unlike the UK with tends to shit over everyone else for the sake one big-headed twat. They do customer service as an art-form.
3. The language fascinates me. I find the language perplexing difficult and somedays I wish God hadn't invented keigo or kanji - but on somedays I just find myself wanting to learn new kanji and vocab and really start learning new stuff about the language, i find delving into the roots and backgrounds of words utterly fascinating.
4. The culture and history fascinates me. Japan is an enigma. One giant question mark that makes us want to keep asking questions. We never find the answers of course, but that's not the point. Its seeing the cultural and social idiosynracries work that makes you want to know more, but without ever the desire to completely understand it.
5. Japan offers me a future. Or at least a gateway to a wider world. It has offered me a large social life, both here and in Japan, it has increased my job-prospects and given me a much wider view of the world. by appreciating Japan, I can appreictae myself more.
6. Japan is the home of the zany, cool and the future of the world's technolgical advancements. Its home of the PS3, the Sony, the Panasonics of the world. Its leading the way foward with robotics and is a home for the world of tomorrow. To be a part of the technoligical future is exciting.
7. Japanese people are awesome. Yes the girls are cute and the guys are laidback crazy but you won't find any more insane people in the world. They are diverse mix of rock-dudes, fashion chicks, smart guys and gals and the absolute originals in this world. In short, they are really friendly and nice people.
8. The public transport system kicks arse! Its nearly always on time, and the trains go everywhere and anywhere. Well compared to the UK, its actually decent!
9. The food is the best in the world. Katsudon? Sushi? Ramen? Udon?
10. Japan, despite its flaws and everything else is still something so far from home. It is my academic love and my social interest and bond. And that is why I love it.
For everything I moan about Japan, there is just enough that keeps me wanting more. there are far too many things I could list about Japan that I really like. I never got the whole 'hate' thing though. Sure I can rant, but that's not hate, that's vicious scorn. Hating is like hating a child, you sure as hell can't say you favour it over your other children and you love it in equal measure as everything else. Its all about balance in my life, a balance that Japan is apart of; not simply a formation of.
I ♥ 日本
PS: there is not bit of sarcasm in this post.
Normally on a Tuesday night, I'm sat in my local furrowing my brow over questions about the length of the Gold Gate bridge or other such nonense. However this Tuesday, for the first time in 6 weeks was slightly different as I spent it cold and alone by myself watching my football team try and beat Scunthorpe United. We succeeded btw. 2-0.
Now even though I am currently seeking a compassionate loving girlfriend, yes I know its hard to believe that a stud like me is semi-single; but I do think I would make someone a good boyfriend, husband, whatever. I can take care of myself, I can cook, clean (just about) and can pay the bills on time (well almost.)
To increase my international standing in the world of the culinary art-form, I decided to cook myself a spicy keema and wild rice (I forget the name, but it sounded damn exotic and would have been sure fire bonus if I had a girlfriend.)
Despite the wonder that cooking shall bring, it begin with a bit of a disaster as I discovered some idiot had accidentally frozen my lamb mince, meaning I had to hack it to pieces and fry to solid baked heaven in the frying pan by chiseling it pieces with a small knife.
Soon after 10 minutes my furious stabbing techniques had allowed me to break up the mince and get the stuff cooking. Add a little bit of chickpeas and vegetables and then some spice-mix and water and then shazam… we are cooking. I then decided to make myself some wild-rice to go with this spicy mincey little concoction but on a quick discovery in the cupboards some idiot (presumably the same idiot who stuck my mince in the freezer) decided to use all the small pans. So there I am using a gigantic pan to shove my tiny segement of rice into. I felt sorry for these small portions of rice all huddled together in this large brooding metallic cavern of a pot.
As the rice was cooking, I prepared some roti bread to go with my meal. Creating bread brings back those childhood memories of getting stuck in, creating a load of mess with the dough and rolling it around and having a laugh. But when you are an adult, the prospect of mess in a kitchen usually brings you out in a cold rash. I preceded to roll the mixture with the water until it was nice and gooey but then unconsciously started rolling it out onto the kitchen top, which I then noticed was covered with small semi-frozen molecules of lamb mince that I had been chiseling from minutes earlier. Oh dear. A quick flick of the wrists and small pinch and all this food hygiene business is swept under the table.
Once I had made a giant ball of dough, I then separated it out into 4 balls and left them on the side. My rice was done. On closer inspection, the rice had absorbed up most of the water but was still a bit too gooey rather than fluffy. However any excess moisture was to be soaked up the keema sauce
I rolled out the balls on a hastily cleaned chopping board but then forget the basic rule of dough: You gotta flour. Yep the frigging thing kept sticking and even though I laboriously chucked several tons of flour on the dough, rolling pin and board it continued to stick. Ah nuts to this. I kneaded it out in my hand creating a small palm shaped mini-pitta bread sized blob of dough and throw it on my second frying pan.
Now I discovered another problem. The pan I used to cook the keema in is pretty big and takes up half of the hob, so I ended up with trying to squeeze two frying pans together onto the hobs, which covered up the buttons, leaving me to anxiously dip my fingers under one of the pans to turn up/down the heat. Thankfully, I avoided burning off my finger-tips.
The results were the following;
Looks alright doesn't it?
In hindsight the keema came out slightly too thick and it congealed on the side of the frying pan, leaving really strong burnt bits of sauce stuck to the bits of keema. it passed the taste test however - it didn't taste of rotting lamb arse or frozen sheep turd.
The rota oth, ended up being small doughy bread but it still tasted good.
Hmmm. Well even this scruffy bearded sonofabitch likes it;
Overall it was an edible meal and one which I won’t be making again. Not least because of the inevitable food poisoning I will contract tomorrow. I think I'll stick my chosen classics in the future and not stray to far from what I know best. Still its good to increase my knowledge of world food and new techniques for poisoning my enemies.
