I am back! After what seems like a decade. Thanks to women, mild chest infestations and broken laptops my blogging progress has been hindered somewhat. So far, my Christmas holidays have been something of a washout as 3 days into my sojourn back home my laptop died on me and then my chests did. Yes. Not only did Vista descend into illness so did I. A bloody chest infection. On Christmas Day! I spent the night unable to sleep, having mild hallucinations and running cold sweats. On Boxing Day, despite feeling the worst I have ever felt, I ventured to see my beloved football team play the worst fucking 90 mins I have seen in my life. I sat there, watching a bunch of clueless footballers in freezing cold weather with a fever. Wonderful.

But this got me thinking. I've had some pretty shitty goings on throughout 2008 and it has potentially become one of the worst years I've had in living memory. Yes... I am going to say it, 2008 is the worst fucking year I've lived through. And here's why via monthly rundown of my misfortune with a handy rating system;

January: I suffer from depression, brought on by being single, having SAD and suffering from shit flatmates. 1/10

February: More depression, and exams. But on the plus side. I moved out of my previous flat with my shitty flatmates. 2/10

March: I make a complete dick out of myself at an Easter party, get drunk and lose my hat. 0/10 (Lowest of the fucking low)

April: I get into mild trouble with the English Language and Linguistics department after pissing off one of the academic staff (one of them responsible for that module was really nice, the other was a bit of a cow.) 1/10

May: I do my exams and finish all of them before everyone else and end up putting on a load of weight through doing nothing for three weeks. Also it rained heavily on the day of my Japanese exam. 5/10

June: Put on more weight and did jackshit during the holidays. Got angry with myself for not taking up that job offer in Okinawa. 4/10

July: Probably the highlight. But even then it was dull. Saw some of France and Belgium. Those are two dull countries. Nice beer though. 6/10

August: Found out I scrapped a 2.1 for my first year after my results dipped severely from the first semester. Also dumped a girl I was secretly seeing from May. 3/10

September: Finally see how bad my Japanese has gotten. But worked myself into a stupour and didn't bother going to the gym at all. Also my birthday was shit. 5/10

October: I broke my mobile phone and had to pay £60 to buy another one. 4/10

November: I worked, worked and worked some more. A truly productive month in terms of academic output, but nothing in terms of the social sadly. 4/10

December: Develop a chest infection, suffer from a broken laptop and are scared by the costs of summer travelling to Russia, China and Japan. Xmas party was also shit. 3/10

Overall 3/10. I would say 2007 was great, mainly because I made the majority of my good friends then. Everything was new for me, it was exciting and fresh. 2008 was full of depression, illness and disappointment. Only my friend Michiko's loving kindness and another special Japanese girl I have discovered kept me sane. Yes, if it wasn't for this beautiful Japanese temptress the last months of this year might have just been a washout. However there are still two more days left in 2008, so just enough time for her to tell me that I'm a creep and she wants nothing to do with me.

However, I work by the law of averages with things balancing themselves out proportionally over time. I think, I just think that 2009 will be my year given my crappy 2008. It will be a year that my goals will be complete and I might just get out of life what I wanted when I first thought about my experiences of studying Japanese at Uni. Maybe... just maybe.

Well if all that fails, I can just hope for karma in the shape of 2010, when Cappello leads England to World Cup glory in South Africa when we beat Japan 7-4 in the final. What? Okay... that will never happen. But you never know I might have some horrendous shit happen to me next year and God will definitely owe me some huge positive karma...

This week Richard is... recovering from a post-apocalyptic laptop, football, chest infection, lack of revision meltdown.

* I definitely don't understand women. But then again, I'm not supposed to.

* I need to get out my current malaise and start partying - because studying Japanese is grating my tits.

* And on the notion of that, I need to start exercising and eating right as my tits are getting bigger. Subway, KFC and McDonald's does not constitute a balanced diet.

I've also become something of a staunch anti-Japaner now. Well, I've become more crustier and bitter than I was before. Where has my joie-de-vivre gone? Am I as really self-loathing as I feel? Surely not?

In summary I need to forget about women (they aren't worth it), forget about Japanese to the extent it is giving me panic attacks (again, it isn't worth it - well it is, but you get the point) and start to rediscover my passion which has been zapped out of me in the past two months. I really want to shout "FUCK JAPAN" really loud in my room right now - but my flatmate might be in earshot and hear my evil plans to bring down his country from the inside whilst masquerading as someone who genuinely gives two shits about his country.

Oh shit, I've gone and spoilt everything now. I can hear the secret-hypocrisy police sounding their way up the stairs to come and send me to the immunisation clinic where I can be injected with some of that nauseating serum that makes me think of Japan as that wonderful candyland with gumdrop trees and pedophile rapists.

This week Richard is... attempting to form a polemic on why Chinese and Japanese people exist only to discover its mildly racist and slightly controversial. Next week, I'll be attempting to ring up beloved Tenko actor Bert Kwouk and make accusations that I slept with his granddaughter. Which I did... and it was the best sex I've ever had...

じゃまたね。。。

A part of me feels really bad for not trying hard enough in Linguistics sometimes when I saw my lecturers response to my e-mail message I sent last week.

With regards to referencing and the inclusion of illustrations for my investigation :

It is good of you to be so concerned, but I have absolutely no
preference -- either as to illustrations in or out of the text, or [but don't
tell my colleagues!] which referencing convention you use!

So, basically, it's Liberty Hall!

regards,

Malcolm

Really friendly guy. hahaha. Its a shame I've decided to drop Linguistics from my degree now. But sadly the care just ain't there anymore and I'd rather focus on studying about Japan from now on. I've also gone on a slight invective against the poor sods on the Education Committee who sent a harmless generic e-mail about discussing problems with joint-honours only to have me respond back with a million suggestions and scribbled angst about my problems on doing JH.

I don't want to go fully into why I feel let down by JH - but the whole scheduling conflicts and lack of departmental communication is basically shocking. Far better to be loved by one department as a son than be the 'lonesome creepy cousin nobody talks to at family events such as weddings.'

I'm normally wide awake on Mondays. However after Nagai sensei's class even the lure of warm coffee couldn't keep me awake and I ended up slumping on my bed and had a quick power nap before I woke up in a daze, believing I had slept in and then rushed off to uni to go learn about Japan's Minorities with the semi-legend that is MC Sick Riddles. Perhaps it was the fact they ran out of those delicious bacon and egg sarnies you can buy in Tesco on west street and which I seem to buy everyday as brunch alongside my morning coffee. It knocked me off my balance and the chicken sandwich was clearly not ample replacement.

Anyways, our flat at Rockingham House was subject to a mandatory inspection today to make sure we are keeping the place clean. So after hours of scrubbing and scrubbing on Sunday night (well 30 minutes.) We passed the inspection with flying colours. Well actually, I was really dishearted by the fact that we were only awarded 'OK' for the state of our kitchen desktop but 'Good' for our furniture and coffee table etc... The fact our only 'clean' flatmate is still in Reading explains the semi-derelict state of living room and kitchen in the past few weeks.

Because of my nap, I launched myself towards the Arts Tower a bit early, before buying some colour pens (more on this later) and then decided to spent 20 minutes taking photos with my mobile phone. Oh the joys too. I didn't know the quality was that good (not bad for 1.6 mega pixels!) Here is the highlight of that journey with yours truly looking really interested about his lecture on Burakumin.



Later in the day I also discovered that I need another injection before I go to Japan, bringing the grand total up to 6. (!!!!) My exam is just under 7 weeks or so away and I feel really unprepared and really shitty about my Japanese ability - especially my speaking, which has gotten worse despite the benefits of having Japanese people around me 24/7...

Oh well, onwards and upwards. My essays are done and things are going okay in my life right now. Except this vulture of japanese doom circling my head everyday I look up.

Right I'm off to memorise these kanji compounds. I've got a feeling some funny bastard is going to choose 性欲 (lust, passion etc) just to annoy me.

またね☆

という点で変わらない

This piece of grammar seems really pointless, but apparently I have to be aware of it. The という点 basically extenuates the difference. Generally speaking its slightly more formal and stricter than other such structures such as 同じです;

博美さんも恵子さんに似ている。
Hiromi and Keiko are similar.

博美さんも恵子さんのヘアスタイルが同じだ。
Hiromi's and Keiko's hairstyle is the same.

博美さんも恵子さんも日本人だという点で変わらないが、どちらもショッピングやファッションなどが好きだから、同じと言うわけではないよ！
Both Hiromi and Keiko are Japanese, but you can't conclude that they are the same because they both like things like shopping and fashion.

ugh this is really difficult to explain isn't it?

I think the という点で変わらない is often used alongside が to indicate the fact that its the case that they are the same, BUT there is some difference which should normally be explained.

に対して

Facing something, or against something...

イギリスでは少年犯罪の問題に対して、イギリスの警察はその問題を戦うために、色々な策を作ることになった。
Faced with the problem of juvenile crime in the UK, the British police have decided to create various policies in order to combat this problem.

しかし、タイムズ新聞によると、その政府に作られた少年犯罪に対して政策は無効そうである。
However according to the Times, these policies that are created by the government to face juvenile crime are ineffective.

The results are in, the polls have been tallied and the choice of Year Abroad 2009/10 is;

Seijo

A few things that makes Seijo seem a good choice for me;

1. Its just outside of central Tokyo in the lovely residential area of Setagaya, just 15 minutes into Central Tokyo and 50 minutes ride to Yokohama. My flatmate also lived in Setagaya and I know someone in Sheffield who went to school there!!!

2. There is no standard uni accomodation at Seijo, so I'll be getting my own place at reduced rate. No goddam mongen (curfew) and no living with other international students.

3. There are hardly any international students at Seijo giving it a distinct Japanese feel to it. In fact Sheffield is the only other partner institution from the UK, the rest are from the US (about 3 I think), Australia (again just the one) and some from Belgium and France. So in short, the gaijin population is tiny. This is very good news if I want to improve my Japanese.

4. Seijo allow me to study non-Japanese language modules if I want, meaning I could improve my Japanese fairly quickly.

5. Seijo has its own internal scholarship programme, meaning if I don't get the government scholarship I will be able to apply for theirs. Fingers crossed...

HOWEVER...

The very same things that make Seijo seem appealing are the same ones that are putting me off. The lack of international students (I think I will antitipcate I will be the only British person there!) as well as the distance from Yokohama and the whole scholarship issue is scaring me...

Onwards and upwards. I can at least start to research now and harrass the few Seijo students over here at Sheffield on an exchange programme for the year.

Elsewhere some people have been unhappy about their choice of uni. I know for a fact had I chosen 'outside of Tokyo' on my form, I would have been sent somewhere like Okayama or Kanazawa. Beautiful yes, but I would get bored soooo quickly. However this year 10 people are being sent to Doushisha in Kyoto which itself is great for learning Japanese but rubbish if you want the whole experience of not hanging about with your mates all day and night. Certainly going to Seijo is going to throw me the deep end straight away.

I should also add, next week I am certain (well maybe 80-90% certain) that I will be told of my university choice for Japan for Year III (aka: Year Abroad.) Just to crank up the knob even further. If its one of the unis I want to go to, this may just give me the desire to push on, or give me the much needed hate to kill other people in my year for going to a uni or place they are so fucking apathetic over...

And besides, what happens if people drop out after they have been selected to go to one university? -_-

Actually, it might be this weekend. Oh blimey. I'm shitting myself.

I am now starting Week 10 of my teaching here in Sheffield and that means I have less than 3 weeks to go and 8 weeks before my exam! *eek* Christmas is just about in the air, with shops now putting up their crappy tat in the windows (including a rather festive Nandos on West Street) and the weather is goddamn freezing. All in all, winter has arrived and its being a bitch.

I woke up at 8.02am today (those two minutes past the hour are important!) and looked outside my window to see the sun just lifting its head beyond the clouds. Not today, just not today. But then I thought about my 義理 - my social obligation to go to class on time and study Japanese like a regular trooper, regardless of the time and the weather.

I shouldn't have bothered with this attitude really, as several people missed the class, some turned up late and then there was a complete carry-on with people reading sentences and forgetting rudimentary kanji. Either its just one of those mornings or my classmate's hours of partying and procrastinating is coming back to haunt them. A few weeks ago, yours truly was worried about his Japanese ability. But now it seems after this week at least I am actually beyond the curve when it comes to studying. So far I managed to finish my sakubun (handwritten and ready to hand in - ON TIME!), I 've learnt this week's kanji (to some extent), finished off my translation (well 90% of it) and also managed to almost complete my other essay!

And others seem to be moaning about having not done any of it. I suppose my complete lack of social life is bearing fruit in some ways.

Anyways, to get back to the story at hand - the class I have just this very minute finished (our lovely 9am grammar class with the wonderful Nagai-sensei) was a bit of a joke. You could well see the consternation in poor sensei's face when a good chunk of the class struggled to remember very basic kanji and make no real effort to translate sentences. To this point, I get very concerned both for the long-term prospects of some of my classmates - who are going to get a sharp and very hard lesson in Japan (things like punctuality are severly frowned upon) and also when we sit our exam in January. In many ways I both fear and am generally excited about sitting the exam - because above all, it will give me a good excuse to shine and put into practice all this hardwork I have supposedly been doing.

As I walked back from the class. I spoke to Chris, as I seemingly always do. He's probably the nicest guy you could ever meet and works unbelievably hard on this course, somehow managing to juggle all sorts of activites and part-time work in his life. Contrast that with some of the antics of my classmates sometimes and I just think how they would last if they were in his shoes. Perhaps the end of this semester will be the watershed before Japan, the final push to see who finally lasts and ultimately stays the course of the degree.

A part of me believes everyone is judged by the effort they put into the course and I am hoping my efforts will be rewarded and some other people's not so.

The exam timetables are out; and they are as follows;

Friday 23rd January: Japanese Language - 9am (3 hours)
Tuesday 27th January: Lexicology - 1.30pm (2 hours)
Wednesday 28th January: Japan's Minorities - 1.30pm (3 hours)

Eep. This means my exams are tightly packed but obviously its quite nice as I can now possibly plan a nice trip for myself - or maybe just go home and get drunk (probably the latter.) I think I have 10 days off altogether. Currently my revision and exam preparation during the holidays is going to physically kill me.

美佳子ちゃんとロンドンに旅行した時に、Japan Centreに行った。Japan Centreは大きい色々な日本から食品や製品を売る店だ。レストランも本屋があるよ！また、新鮮な寿司を買えるよ！美佳子ちゃんはきつねうどんが好きで、きつねうどんのポットを買いたがったが、値段は高いから、僕はそれは買ってあげた。親切だね！

じゃぁ、それも買った。チョコレー風味だ。「風味」っていう意味は英語で「flavour」ことだ。「プチクリーム・ロール」というのは小さいまきのことだ。ボックスで好きなことはロールくんというキャラクターだ。コロコロというのは擬音語「オンマトペアの例」ことだ。例えば、ボールを転がしたら、「コロコロ」と言う。

味は？おいしかったよ！

僕の志望や思想などを書くのは久しぶりね！非常に長時間だから、何も日本語でも英語でも書けないだろうなぁー。。。

最近、大学の勉強は難しくなったので、あまり友達と遊ばない。毎週十漢字を習ったり、作文を書いたり、在日についてのエッセーをしたりしなくちゃ。本当に、面倒くさいじゃん！毎水曜日にはJapan Society「日本のサークル」のエベントだ。去年、よく、勉強についてと思わずに、友達とビールを飲み行くよ。でも、今年はひまがないので、かわいそうな人のように、行って、十分の後で、出るよ。

そして、彼女ができた。じゃぁ、実は好きな女子で、気持ちがあると思う。一緒にロンドンに旅行したが、僕の気持ちをまだ表せない。時々スカイプで喋るけど、最近彼女ともっと喋るべきだと思う。クリスマスの前に、気持ちを表したほうがいいね。オレは弱虫だよ！でも、勉強だし、ひまがないから、大変難しいよ。一方、彼女にとっても、忙しいから、毎日はハンサムなイギリス人と喋るのは難しいにちがいないね。しかも、もう一度、一緒に何かしたいよ。

次に、ひげを剃ったばかりで、真面目な若者みたいだし。。。実はちかんみたいだと思う。笑☆　先日友達もリチャードさんはもっと若そうな人になったと言った。

最後、留学については確か、東京で行くが、大学はまだ決めない。立教大学に行きたいけど、結果はがっかりにするかもから、特定な行きたい大学にした。

じゃぁ、リチャードのアップデート：

彼女をできた　（女子の友達でしょう？）　＝　喋りたいんだけど。
ひげがない人になった　（また、イギリスの天気は寒くなったよ！）
日本語学力は悪くなった　（簡単な漢字が覚えられないほど）
来年東京に行くかも！　（多分？）

じゃぁまた次回ね！

リチャードより。。。

わけではない

The word わけ means conclusion and added with ではない means; "one can't conclude that" or in a more literal sense, "it doesn't mean that."

日本語の試験を落ちたけど、日本語が分からないわけではない。
Although I failed my Japanese exam, you can't conclude that that I don't understand Japanese.

Sometimes instead of using わけではない it is possible to say と言うわけではない。This is often a softer way of expressing the above and avoids directness and a personal opinion.

マイクさんはマンガを読んでばかりいるが、お宅と言うわけではないと思う。
Mike does nothing but read manga but I don't think you can't say he is an otaku.

かねない

かねない expresses when something or someone is capable of something, usually in a negative or extreme sense. The form is stem+かねない

ジョンさんは誰か殺しかねなかったので、警察に逮捕をされた。
Because John was capable of murdering someone, he was arrested by the police.

常にテレビを見たら、病気になって、頭痛がしかねない。
If you watch TV everyday, you are capable of becoming ill and getting headaches.

さえ

さえ is often added to the end of a noun (and sometimes verbs) to express the notion of 'even'. It is used to expresses a more than average or beyond the extent of something. However unlike まで it doesn't go to an extreme length.

日本語は三年間勉強しているのに、「こんにちは」や「ありがとう」という言葉（で）さえ、覚えられない。
Even though I have been studying Japanese for three years, I unable to remember even words like 'hello' and 'thank you'.

あれ？リチャードさんさえ、彼女をできた？！
What? Even Richard has a girlfriend?!

ものだ

ものだ expresses the 'thing that' and supplies information based on the notion that the thing which is being discussed is an inevitable eventuality.

男の人はサッカーを見たり、パブでビールを飲んだりするのが好きだことだ。
Guys like watching football and drinking beer.

For some reason, I always want to just use んだから at the end of such phrases to give it a little bit more of a punch when explaining something that is understood by the listener. A good way to translate it would be, "it is the fact that" or "its a thing that is commonly understood as". Hard to translate the exact nuance into English.

日本語は難しいものだね？

せいで

The word せい means act, doing or deed but in the below context it means 'fault' or 'cause'. The usage is entirely subjective and refers to the speaker's opinion about the cause or fault of something or someone. For example;

彼女とショッピング・センターに出かけたせいで、サッカー試合を見られなかったよ。
I was unable to watch the football match, because I took my girlfriend out to the shopping centre.

夕べ食べ過ぎちゃったせいで、今朝気に悪いんです。
I am unwell this morning because I ate too much last night.

Generally the indication is nearly always negative. Offering an explanation for a negative occurrence.

はもちろん

If we understand the meaning of もちろん to mean 'of course', we can understand this grammar point. For example;

日本の料理と言えば、寿司はもちろん、焼き鳥も焼きそばもとうふとがある。
If we talk about Japanese food, there is of course sushi, as well as yakitori, yakisoba and tofu.

The はもちろん starts the sentence with something expected by the reader or listener as a given example, either through context of something or something which symbolises the topic overall. To use it effectively, the first example should be something easily aware to the audience and then the use of Nも to describe other such things.

きっかけ

きっかけ can be generally translated as the 'trigger' or 'impetus' for a desired action or feeling. きっかけ is a noun.

日本語を勉強しているきっかけは、日本に行って、その経験は気持ちだった。
The reason (trigger) that I am studying Japanese is that I went to Japan and it was a pleasant experience.

ながら

When you began beginner Japanese all those many moons ago, you remembered ながら as something symbolising 'whilst doing something'. The meaning here is roughly the same and carries the same nuance in English.

イギリスは小さい国ながら（も）、色々なきれいな所があるし、歴史的な協会がある。
Whilst England is a small country, there are various beautiful places and historic churches.

The grammar is sort of similar to expressing the same thing as でも、のに、けど etc but it appears to be more of a fancy way of constructing things. The も is often included in written speech rather than spoken. I think the usage is the same in English and is perhaps a slightly formalised way of saying things. Anyway its good to know.

おかけで

Simply, 'thanks to' or 'owing to'... Again, like きっかけ it is treat as a noun. For example,

友達の支持のおかげで、お酒を飲むのをやめた。
Thanks to the support of my friends, I quit drinking alcohol.

もともと

A useful adverb and probably more helpful when you see it in kanji = 元々. This means 'originally' or 'starting from'

もともとは大学で中国語を勉強していたが、毎日アニメの番組を見たおかげで、どんどんお宅になって、日本語を勉強することにした。
Originally, I was studying Chinese at university but, thanks to watching anime programmes everyday, I steadily became an otaku and decided to study Japanese.

New week, new grammar:

として

として describes the situation whereby something, acts as or simply in the capacity. For example;

日本語を勉強している人として、毎日勉強するべきだ。
As a Japanese language student, you should study everyday.

日本に住んでいる時、英語の先生として、働いていた。
When I was living in Japan, I worked as an English teacher

と言えば

Breaking this down, its easy to derive its meaning. In most contexts, its meaning suggests, 'if we talk about' or 'talking about' and usually precedes when the topic has been mentioned.

A: ジョンさんは今日の日本語授業に行かなかったと聞いた。
B: うんそうだ、ジョンさんと言えば、まだ東京から来る日本人を付き合っているの？

A: I heard John didn't go to today's Japanese class.
B: Yeah, speaking of John, is he still going out with that Japanese girl from Tokyo?

と言えば always comes when the topic has been introduced and is understand by the listener. The function works very much the same way in English.

Sometimes, the actually subject of the と言えば can be substituted for それ which becomes そう; Using the above example again...

B: そう言えば、まだ東京から来る日本人を付き合っているの？

Here the そう would be understood as John. It can also be used to elicit more information from the speaker. Again, its fairly rudimentary when you compare directly to English.

Speaking of which, do you think English is harder than Japanese?

Ho-ho-ho...

ほど

The use of ほど has several meanings. Firstly you may recognise the following structure;

イギリスの冬はロシアの冬ほど、寒くないよ
English winters aren't as cold as Russian winters.

ほど can be taken to mean, 'as' or 'like' but generally we shall focus on the meaning 'to the extent of'

昨日、頭が痛くなるほど、日本語を勉強した。
Yesterday, I studied Japanese to the extent that my head hurt. (lit. becomes painful.)

If you really love/hate someone you can also use it to good effect.

会うために、東京まで歩くほど、彼女が好きだよ。
I love my girlfriend to the extent that I would walk to Tokyo in order to meet her.

いつ歩いていくるアメリカ人を見ても、道を渡るほどアメリカが大嫌いだよ。
I hate America to the extent that, whenever I see an American walking towards me, I cross the street. (Not really, I love America!)

After being spared one grammar point this week, there is still lots of lovely new stuff to learn.

と限らない

This little function is quite useful and expresses the limit of something. The kanji 限 literally means limit, there と限らない means something like 'that is not limited to'. In more natural English we would translate this as 'it doesn't mean that. When used as an adverb 限り expresses, 'as far as', 'as long as' etc etc... For example,

僕が知る限りでは、ジョンさんはまだ大学で日本語を勉強している。
As long as I know, John is still studying Japanese at University.

ＦａｃｅｂｏｏｋとかＳｋｙｐｅを持っている限り日本に住んでいる友達を連絡できる。
I am able to contact my friends in Japan, so long as I have facebook and Skype.

When we use the function と限らない we can express the notion of something not being the way it is, let's have a look;

僕は日本語が上手だとは限らない
It doesn't mean I'm good at Japanese.

~からと言って

This can often follow the above, to devastating effect. It literally means 'just because'. For example,

僕は日本人からと言って、日本語が上手だとは限らない。
Just because I'm Japanese, doesn't mean I'm good at Japanese language.

You can often supplement this with 必ずしも to mean 'not necessarily mean'

日本語ができるし、背が高いからと言って、必ずしも日本に行った時に、日本の彼女ができるとは限らないでしょうね。
Just because you can speak Japanese and are tall, doesn't necessarily mean when you go to Japan, you will get a Japanese girlfriend.

~ずにはいられない

To understand this grammar point, you have to break it down. The first bit '~ずには' comes from the negative form of a verb meaning 'without doing something' (i.e. 食べずには - without eating.) And the second part comes from the neagtive potential form of いる (meaning unable to exist.)

Therefore something like 食べずにはいられない- I am unable to exist without eating (lol!)

A more natural translation would be;

去年日本に行った時に、名物を食べるより、イギリスの料理を食べずにはいられなかった。
When I went to Japan last year, Rather than eating the local specialities, I couldn't help eating British food.

You can form this with になる to express the changing state of something of you becoming to the point of doing this action. For example;

いつBar Oneに行っても、お酒を飲まずにいられなくなってしまう。
Whenever I go to Bar One, I can't help drinking alcohol.

~しかない

This expresses something like 'no option of doing' or 'no alternative to doing.'

先週試験を落ちたから、今から、毎日勉強するしかないでしょう。
Because I failed my exam last week, I have no option but to study everday from now on.

Don't it make you feel sick?
Floating, drifting, dancing
A thousand birds in the sky
Cawing their tune for you
In the lazy autumnal drift?

Don't it make you feel sick?
Clashing, clanging, creeping
The marching call of bands
Singing their joyous tune
Amongst the sodden leaves?

Don't it make you feel sick?
Splashing, drowning, pouring
The rain from the sullen skies
Glistening light off asphalt
Straight into your blurry eyes

Don't it make you feel sick?
Teetering, verging, creeping
On the brink of madness,
Remembering long lost loves
Over a bottle of the hard?

Don't it make you feel sick?
Loving, caring, emoting
With another human being.
Who equally emotes with you.
Inside a corporal fleshly shell?

Don't it make you feel sick?
Inside, outside, amongst
Your thoughts, feelings, ills
You can remember and see
Everything around you?

Don't it make you feel sick?
That you feel the way you do
Yet cannot understand why?

Another great one from the mind of me.

I still feel slightly shit, which is down to several reasons. The first is that I have done very little work over the weekend and really wasted what was supposed to be a great opportunity to get some things done (especially doing some cross-over revision from last year) and secondly, I haven't been to the gym yet (lolz?) and am still eating crap. Okay, the time starts now. This is a new leaf and I'm ditching all the crap. Maybe...

On a final note, I was deciding to take a small weekend break somewhere in Europe on the first weekend of December - but after looking at some of the prices (£148 to Lille and about £87 to Brussels) I think I will decide against it. I am not working at the minute, so its very much draining my finances. I think I might just go to London for the day and do some shopping. Which reminds of me going to York last December and walking from the train station to my previous home in Endcliffe Village - which despite its huge distance was somewhat enjoyable. I am a strange fellow.

Onwards and upwards. I just have to rote memorise these 600 kanji, learn some new grammar, type up my translations notes and lexicology notes, read some stuff on the Ainu and finish off the segement of the Japanese translation. And all this in one day. Because I couldn't be arsed to do any work this week. YAAAARRRGGH!

This photo just about sums up the current credit crunch. In about 2 months, the value of the yen to the pound has gone from about 220 to 140. In short, my money is now around a quarter less valuable over there as it once was. Yet more reasons that I'm fearing this and next year.

I've decided to resurrect my blog after some inactivity of about two weeks. Lolz. How time flies. The main reason has been the amount of work I've been doing and a general lack of 'can't be arsed typing out my feelings' syndrome.

At the moment things are feeling pretty shitty but at the same time they are going very well. The very things which are causing to me go insane are making me feel stronger and the things that are making me feel strong and causing me to crash down to earth with a sharp bump.

I've highlighted several things as I'm now officially back into the groove of uni.

1. I'm not going to get a g/f. I might if I try, but I just can't be arsed. There are lots of cute girls here, but I officially can't be bothered. When I try, I come off as desperate and when I don't - I end up seeming distant. Tbh, what started out as a priority for me has dwindled pretty fast. I also can't be arsed with the whole 'I'll be going to Japan next year, so see you later' type thing either. Ugh. I have decided just to make as many cool friends as possible and if things happen, then things happen. I just can't be bothered to hunt them down - as I well know, nothing good will come of that.

2. I've done 4 weeks of Japanese, and I've still not improved. For sure, I have learnt more kanji and grammar but this has pushed out all the old stuff. My listening is still bad and as for my speaking.... Its like talking with a mouth full of sodden ash sometimes. Sod it all I say.

3. I am almost 70% (well, maybe 90% certain) that I will go to Kansai for my year abroad, Kobe to be exact. After some researching and soul-searching it seems the best option for me. Hoo-dee-hum. It all depends on whether I will be allowed to go, or if I can bribe my YA co-ordinator. Our first really *big* meeting is next week, so this when the fun really begins. There seems to be a lot of apathetic people this year and maybe only a few who truly want to go to certain areas, so it would seem so utterly shit, if I wasn't nominated by my university and someone who was ambivalent about ending up at Kobe went there instead. Gyaaaarrrggh! If I can't go here, I'll try and sneak back to Tokyo somehow.

4. In contrast to no3, the whole YA (Year Abroad) seems like a cool novelty so far. As it stands, a lot of people will drop out after the exam and some people will end up getting scared off due to costs. At the minute, even yours truly is viewing next year with huge grey suspicion. Pass the first semester and you'll be fine I've been told. Yeah right.

5. I am detesting the size of my classes so far. It seems as if the guys who went before us (especially those who graduated last year and the current fourth years) had such great small groups. It seems as if we are suffering this year. Oh, and the JS newbs (japan studies freshers) have about 76 odd in their year. Christ, what a living joke.

6. Back to point 1. My friend Aya contacted me today and I was overcome with a sense of emotion. Okay, she might have been a bit humble when she told me that she doesn't think she will pass her year abroad exam, but a huge part of me is wanting her to fail - just for the completely selfish act of me being in Japan (or more to the point Kansai) when she is there. *sigh*. I really like her and she is very sweet - but the small part of my soul which is telling me to do the 'friend thing' first (that is to say, support her in what she wants to do) is coming to fore, more and more now. At the end of the day, I want what is best for her, and screw the practicalites. If we both pass our exams, our paths will cross - but we will of course still share some common bonds. Its a friendship I always want to maintain with her - because she is such a unique individual who I want to know until I'm old and grey. And I know that is trite, but she geninuely is an amazing person who makes me feel good about things...

Well in short: I love my flatmates, I love my flat, I love my course. I love my sensei, I love my classmates, I love my subject, I love the new Japanese people who come here, I love my inability in Japanese, I love my charming northern style, I love my intellect, I love being able to think about things that don't concern me, I love not giving a fuck, I love seeing the months fly away, I love everything, I love nothing, I love not havign any money, I love having student loans, I love buying drinks and getting drunk, I love people, I love me, I love YOU, but most of all I love my life at the minute - no matter how shit it feels at times.

Where does the time go?

It seems like only yesterday I was lamenting about last week. The work has slowly increased and I'm now feeling the burn somewhat. Tomorrow, I have to remember 5 more kanji (woop de doo), plan my story for sensei (about reflecting back on my first year - so lot's of I should have done, or I shouldn't have done etc.) and I have to finish off my translation. But maybe, I only have to do one page of it. In short, I have to cram a alot in, because I will be verrry busy tomorrow!

Tomorrow is the first real official Japan society event thingy and I shall be donning my hachimaki and happi coat and dancing around like a prick. Hopefully I will be able to meet some more Japanese people as I have been shamelessly hanging around this Japanese girl I like, like the proverbial goldfish poo. Hopefully she will come for a few drinks at my flatmate's birthday on Friday, so its all good. Before then, I'll say hello and be making myself known to a few more people. And getting drunk. getting very drunk. Hehehe.

I have been so busy this week and there are so many things to do, but its all worth it in the end. The work and social life is coming thick and fast after a slow malaise leading up to this week. Hopefully I'll post some pictures soon.

Tomorrow, I'm up at the crack of dawn and then working from around 1pm until 5pm, typing furiously into my laptop in the IC! Please save me!!!! >o<

Alas, I have caught the dreaded man flu! Oh woe is me! Thankfully, this gave me a great excuse not to do any studying on Friday and Saturday. Now, as a result of my intolerable and suffering man-flu, I'm struggling to remember these kanji and am typing this while rapidly trying to cram them into my brain. I can remember 'doubt', 'omit' and 'impression'. There is also one about 'self reflection' and 'crime' which I can't remember for the life of me... hansei and hanzai? How confusing is that?

I've also completed my sakubun (which is really awful) in which I had to write about my holidays. I'll post the corrected version soon, because no doubt it will be riddled with silly mistakes, which is the hallmark of my written Japanese.

As a result of kanji uselessness, sakubun ineptitude and man-flu, my Japanese flatmate wants nothing to do with me. He's now avoiding me like the plague, even though its just a cold, sorry man-flu. *cough* *cough *splutter*. Granted, it doesn't seem as bad as last year, when my chest felt like it was melting for about 4 weeks but I'd rather get it now than when the exam/essay season rolls around. If you are gonna get sick, get sick when the work is relatively light I say...

Besides, he gave me a cold last year, so its only fair that I infect him this year as revenge.

My physical health has also seemed to be detoriating, depsite the fact I have lost some weight (that's the hills of Sheffield, fruit and veg and plenty of walks everywhere in this great slopey city of ours!) My feet are smelling thanks to some potent athelte's feet that won't go away, my nose has a huge spot on it and my man-flu is making me snivel all the time.

Great. A sniveling, spotty, overweight Englisman with smelly feet. Line up ladies.

I'll try and do this every Friday if I have time...

金魚の糞　（きんぎょのふん）

Gold fish crap.

Delightful isn't? But kinda symbolic. It kinda means a hanger-on, someone you can't shake away, a person who trails around you like a piece of goldfish crap.

For example;

その人は金魚の糞だった。夕べ中日本の彼氏ができた日本女性を追いか廻した。

Hehe. 舞う is one of my favourite verbs in Japanese and sorta means to 'flutter or flounce around'. When you add that with 追い for 'chase' you get a delightful image of some random guy hanging around a Japanese girl who has a boyfriend in Japan, like a piece of goldfish turd.

Yay!

Okay, the funny thing.

And it involves, me, another guy and a Japanese girl.

I kinda know the guy in question, although I've spoken to him once or twice. He's kinda very shy (maybe that's not the right word) but I think it kinda is, so let's go with that. Last year, he befriended a girl I liked (the girl was Japanese - that's important, so pay attention.)

In the end, I don't think he spoke to her again and in the end neither did I. I cut my losses and moved on. Nice girl, and tbh we have a pure academic relationship through e-mail now. Which is kinda good for my Japanese and knowledge of English Literature and environmental, eco-friendly legislature in Japan. Hopefully she'll send me some stuff, but I doubt it.

Anyways, I saw him at the Japan Society event thing, chatting to some girl (who is of course Japanese.) Me being the curious devil, sense an unusual pattern forming. Now of course, the writer in question here makes no illusion of his love for all things Japanese. Its not as if I would only date nihonjin, its more that I prefer the company of Japanese people sometimes. Well, this guy starts chatting to her, but is suddenly surpassed by the all-conquering, completely new sense of confident englishman who strolls around after meeting some people and starts saying hello and being the affable bastard. What I found most endearing was the element of surprise and copy. "Holy shit. This guy is confident. I'm screwed." Whats more amusing was that I could swear he was trying to mimick my friendly banter and mannerism. Oh bastard! There is only one me. I am unique. You can't copy me!

Before I came to Sheffield, I studied a lot about psychology and could read, quite easily I might add, this guy was very uncomfortably in social environments. He sorta looked very uneasy when I started chatting so freely and comfortably to these two (or was it three) girls whom I had just met.

Nah, tbh - I am reading too much into this. In fairness, this guy doesn't stand a chance with this girl for a few reasons;

1. He's not confident enough. Japanese girls want a confident guy. They don't want to date someone who is essentially Japanese and treats them no differently. Shy guys aren't as romantic or endearing I would argue. Do really shy guys embody everything that is stereotypical of Japanese girls perceptions of westerners?
2. He don't speak Japanese. Communication is a necessity for all relationships everyone.
3. The girl in question, whom I know again through a mutual friend at her university in Japan, has a boyfriend. Oops.

Ah well, life goes on. It could genuinely be something quite sweet and merely just friendship. We'll see. But I thought given what happened last year, things like this are very unusual. I'm so happy I ended up speaking to so many random people on Wednesday. As my friend says, if you get in early, you'll become their friend quicker and relationships are more likely to be formed in the first few weeks than later on, when they are essentially closed groups.

Fwiw, I'm playing my cards close to my chest this year. We'll see how things work out. I'm sure if I put in a repeat performance of Wednesday, I'll be alright I guess.

Damn! Where does the time fly, when you are having fun eh? Let me summarise things so far...

Monday: First day excitement and something of damp squib in more ways than one. Classes started at 9am and although its an early start, I would happily get up at 4am for my grammar teacher. The grammar, was kinda pointless and very soft - thankfully she must know how much we are all feeling about our Japanese after 4 months off.

The day ended with a bit of a rush. A 5 hour interlude and then an introductory spell about Japan's Minorities. I then rushed home in the rain and then onto Las Iguanas in the rain and said a sad farewell to my friend Michiko whose birthday it was and also who is going back to Japan next month. How I'll miss her. Our relationships is so unusual, and I kinda think of her as an older sister. I tell her all kinds of crap about my relationships and social life and she in turn listens and makes me feel good about myself. If all goes to plan, I'll end up seeing her sooner than some of her other friends in Sheffield, which really brings home how long and how far some people can be apart from each other at times.

Tuesday: Tuesday is a pain in the arse, because I have three classes and have a ton of fecking work to do. It starts by having some more grammar and writing in Japanese at 10am and ends with Nic giving us a sheet to read in Japanese which half of us can't read. The size of the class also takes the proverbial with people sitting on the windowsills and ceiling. Yes, the class is that big! Before that, I get the luxury of Japan's Minorities in the same room, which also has capacity problems. Sort it out Sheffield!

Wednesday: We recieved the dreaded talk by Angela-sensei, the head of our second year, who instilled confidence in us by telling us how hard this level is. If you miss several classes, you get refered and sent a letter, then if you fail the exam, you get told to switch degrees... and its not optional. In short, YOU WILL FAIL, YOU WILL NOT GO TO JAPAN, YOU WILL BE A LONER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! Tbh, although a lot of what she said was tough, I agreed with her. If you struggled with last year's Japanese you will find this very hard. Likewise, people who are struggling along will probably never improve whilst on the course, given the intensive workload placed on us poor bastards. I hope for the class size's sake at least, some people will do the honest thing and drop out (what a terrible thing to say behind the keys of a laptop overlooking a tiling shop in central Sheffield.)

Later on it was the dreaded Japan Society Intro thing. This was kinda surreal for several reasons; Firstly, I totally underestimated how many people would turn up. In the end it was a lot. And secondly I seem to undersell myself sometimes. I just randomly start chatting to Japanese and English alike after just one pint of Czech beer. I am also pondering something else, which I'll talk about later and which I think is hilarious and sad at the same time.

There was a few nice girls there (well what can I say) and I ended up walking four of them back home (I am a kind person amongst this fragile shell of a hubris.) And lastly, we found another full-time Japanese student!!! And he's from KANSAI! Brain overload. Seriously. I just can't wait until next week, when we have the big intro thing and another bout of tandem learning.

Thursday: Today? Oh today was boring. In fact, today never happened. That's how interesting it was. I had another spell of lexicology today with my lecturer reminding me of a Eddie Izzard type character with a severe bout of lexiphilia (love of words.) No actually, he just doesn't love words, he REALLY loves words. Words cannot describe his love for words. Haha. Me and my flatmate also completed Resistance Fall of Man on the PS3. And then we are waiting to for number 2, to justify the crappy ending of the first one.

Friday: Tomorrow I have just the one lesson, with the delightful Arai-sensei, whom I was so close to adding on facebook. Technically we have one mutual friend. The friend in question whose birthday it was on Monday and who is leaving Sheffield as we speak. I think I'll do the Japanese thing and keep my distance and respect the honoured gakusei-sensei hierarchy.

Plus, I don't want her to see photos of me drunk in some nightclub, before my kanji test on Monday morning. I've learnt one thing about the Japanese people in my four odd years of socialising with them - THEY TALK!

So busy right now, so...

jaa ne!

Last night, I met a few of the new Hosei students from Japan. They are here for just 5 months rather than the full year and are mostly doing cultural and language modules. I can remember Rui, Takahiro, Masato, Harumi, Miki, Natsumi (who was very friendly - stop it Rich!) and a load more whose names I have completely forgotten. "I can remember the face but..." I think there was a Satoko as well. Oh well, I'll get their numbers and demand some facebook when I see them next time at our big intro party thing.

Afterwards, I ended up meeting a few international students who I knew through my Japanese friend last year. It also looks like Masato 'scored' with an English student of Japanese who is resitting this year. Ah, well done kind sir, showing us how its done. *jealous*

In the words of my flatmate, that was just the start of things. The real buisness begins when we meet the proper exchange students. Mostly, I got on well with them last year. I think I really need to know every Japanese person here, as last year I was a bit anti-social at times. It would be nice to know every single Japanese student in Sheffield, although that is a big ask.

New classes are just less than a day away and I am now very nervous. Because my kanji has gone to pot and my grammar, speaking, listening.... ARRRGHHH HELP ME!!!! The thing is, I just feel really rusty. Its not as if I have done no Japanese in the holidays, I just can't remember stuff as easily as I could. Its going to be nice to have some schedule in my life. I'm so sad, that I'm actually looking foward to printing out my study schedule.

However I am really looking foward to doing this Japan's Minorities module as it looks really interesting. This module could be a blessing in disguise for me.

Despite my reservations, I still feel really excited about this year. Japan seems closer and the Japanese language is now seeming less challenging to me. Is this self confidence? Me? I think I may need to just sit down.

I have finally ended what was a pretty bizarre relationship with Yukari today. In short, she is making me feel upset. I feel extremely sorry for her, because she is turning into a cast iron figure of sorrow and its making me feel lonely and depressed too. I want to speak with some of my friends who don't divert the conversation to relationships every six seconds. Yukari is a nice girl and she'll find happiness sooner or later. It just won't be with me. I'm going through a lot of things right now and being stuck in something like that - will only make things worse. Friends should make you happy and tell you what good things you have in your life, not showcase what is utterly wrong with yours like a prophetic mirror of doom.

I'm just really sad, because I don't think she ever will find happiness if she continues to act in the way she does.

For a girl at least, it can be damaging thanks in part to wilful and negligent sadism of men. I really hope she can do some growing up, because her behaviour has totally ruined things. It was never my intention to forge anything more than a decent online friendship with her, but now even that is ruined. Maybe, I am to blame for leading her on. Sometimes what I say and do can be misinterupted as something else. I can be overfriendly and perhaps she got the wrong impression.

I feel really sorry for her now. Because I feel like I have abandonded her, depsite the friendship we both created. But I feel as if, it had to end - for both of us. I'm just really sad, it has ended on such a sad note.

Well to lighten the mood, there will be some new Japanese students to meet in Sheffield soon - so no doubt things will be a lot different!

Argh! Big news! Yesterday I found out, there is indeed a clash and there is nothing I can do about it. So now I have only three modules available to me in SEAS (Society and Lit in Contemporary Japan, Japan's Minorities and Modern Japanese History)

The latter I cannot take without History credits and the first one has a very demanding reading list per week. So, by Hobson's choice (no, not Hugo Dobson - the legendary Japanese Studies lecturer) I choose studying about Ainu and Zainichi.

This could prove a blessing in disguise. The guy who teaches the module is just pure awesome and really loves his subject matter. Although, I was slightly concerned when he said he may have to cap the numbers this year, so I might just end up filling in this Add/Drop form really quickly just to be on the safe side of things.

It will also be a nice complement, as I have never done any social science modules and tackled anything about Japan from a social point of view before. I thought I would hate learning about stuff like this - but I could be proved wrong.

Say hello to my timetable for 12 lovely weeks.



Its looking a lot more user friendy now isn't it?

10 hours contact time! 2 hours less than last time I think.

Feels exactly like Rich at 23. We'll I'm older, smarter, wiser and have more experience of Japanese now. Thanks for all the birthday greetings I guess.

The sad thing is, I'm typing out this message dressed like the above.

Just about sums it up. Click to enlarge...



Hahaha. Brilliant! I actually really hate the Flames more than I do the Habs and Sens. But, still, I'm really excited about the season starting again and watching the Leafs miss out on the playoffs once again.

I'm itching for the year to start and I don't know why. Perhaps I just want an excuse to go studying or maybe its just that I'm genuinely excited to be learning new things and seeing all the old and new faces in my respective departments.

I also have to read these three books in 6 days now. *eep* One is almost done, as its just two short case studies about corpus development, whereas the other has about 100 pages left and just keeps on going with its unrelenting boredom that language is not just language but something vague and delicious that can't be explained, although the author is attempting to do so. The final one I need to pick up in the IC tomorrow and is basically one of the books that is not on the reading list, but I'd thought I'd read it anyway - because I'm hard. And sad... And some other adjectives I can't think of right now that sums up my nerdyness. Is that even a word?

[Lisa Simpson]Oh my God! I'm losing my perspicacity![/Lisa Simpson]

Note to self: Stop watching the Simpsons and get back to studying.

Oh yeah, I also need to type up some suru verbs later. I guess I'm taking it slightly easier now that freshers is among us. And at least I have got over my kanji hangover. They are coming a bit better now, although I'm still stuck with a few. Focusing on the ones I can't get, just forces out the ones I used to be able to get.

I absolutely adore these things, simply because I love being able to watch human interaction from afar. I often tell people - if you view want to view how everything works, then sit at a cafe and watch the world go by for a good ten minutes.

This one is outside Nagoya station.



Keeping with the Nagoya theme (I trust you - this is not intentional) Here are a few guys trying to score free hugs. I tell you, the reason why there is so much suicide in Japan, is that people don't hug enough random strangers. The problem I think they had, was it that it was a clear attempt to get free gaijin hugs - we are the highly suggestible type us lot.



Anyway the whole thing is spearheaded by the free hugs campaign. Anyway, they'll be around Sheffield sometimes, so check em out. I just wanna hug all those people in the first video now!

Its technically the first day of freshers in Sheffield and all I've seen so far are some random people holding maps looking lost and a bunch of people wearing pink hanging outside the IC. I've yet to be annoyed by one yet (a fresher that is) although I'm sure it will soon kick off. Living in a place like I am really brings home the serenity of not being a fresher anymore. I feel so... adult. For a less of a word.

I also can't get this awful joke out of my head since I told my friend it on MSN this afternoon...

- I am watching the Israeli version of Diff'rent Strokes at the minute.
- Oh yeah?
- What Jew talkin' about Willis?

*cue 10 seconds of silence*

- yeah, so as I was saying...

Also what ever happened to the second 'e' in the show Diff'rent Strokes? Was it molested by a bike shop salesman or squandered like Gary Coleman's cash? I guess we'll never know! Man, I really need a girlfriend with this sense of humour and boredom on a Saturday night. Yaaaarrrgggh! My parents are coming up tomorrow and are bringing the rest of my things. It will start to feel like home again (maybe - not until I get my plant and some posters in my room though.)

Diff'rent Strokes in Japan was actually called Arnold bouya wa ninkimono. Arnold the popular boy? There's a little gem for all you J-freaks out there.

Today I helped moved my flatmates things from west one across west street and into the appartment. The trip should take 10 minutes at most. But when you are carrying the entire back catalogue of every single manga ever written its difficult. However I got a free subway sandwich out it, so it wasn't be that bad. Now my arms is hurting - hahaha. Oh man.

I also got the cold shoulder treatment from a few Japanese people through e-mail and MSN recently. I sent some e-mails out out kindly as both thank yous and keep in touch - because they are generally quite nice and kind people (and some also cute - but I'm not going into that just yet) and had some zero responses. Shame. I am such a bad person? Surely not... Perhaps they are just too busy. I know I am. I recently broke off a connection with some random Japanese girl I met in London a few months ago - but that was partly down to pure laziness on my part. Mamiko I think her name was. Hmm.

So far only Minami, Taku and Saori have taken me up on the offer of helping my Japanese through e-mail. Yukari would help me out, but only if I moving to Nagoya (I am still not sure about this.) My flatmate thinks Nagoya is bad. Amongst many Japanese, they see it as a rural bumpkin town - even though its a huge metropolis and the 3rd largest city in Japan. >o< I guess, I want to go to a national university for the cost - but the majority in Tokyo are private. I still think Rikkyo looks good, but the fact I have a 2.1 from last years - means I can apply to most unis without clear academic rejection. But this bye the bye, I need to pass the exams first. I'll worry about this around Christmas time, when I have time to plan everything (including my trip to Russia and China.) There are some many things to consider. Its not just the city, its also the cost, the course, the practicals and people. For some reason - i do not want to go to Sophia because of the number of Americans there. I'm not anti-America, I just know it would fucking grate me for one year. I know I would really enjoy Nagoya. I'm not one of this people who view Japan as the big buildings and huge electronic gadgets - I'm one of the people who like the nature and the abiltiy to travel otuside to some small towns to see real Japanese people.

Whether there is a Japanese girl there or not is a moot point. As I said before, I value my friendship with her as much as I do with Saori. That's what I'm telling myself anyways. I'm sure she'll want to see me, regardless of my relationship status.

My flatmate is now back and the set is complete. The flat is now at its full complement and Sheffield is struggling to handle us. ven though the flat holds 4, we have an extra Chinese person living with us for some unknown reason. However they are both quiet and clean - it its no real problem for us.

Now according to my recently moved in Japanese flatmate, he has some information on a year abroad student from Japan. According to one of my friends last year who was from Keio, supposedly one of the two girls coming from that uni on an exchange to Sheffield is hot. Hmmm. Calm down Rich, calm down. The problem is, that this information comes from a dubious source, as the person in question has a bizarre rating of women. And also, what's hot and cute for a Japanese person is not necessarily the same for an English person. The amount of times, I've had people say the girls I've fancied in Japan are only midly attractive by Japanese people is either jealously or presumably a kernel of truth wrapped in there somewhere. Bah! Less competition I say!

Hahaha. Still its going to be fun finding out - and I least I have a few conversation starters somewhere. Oh, you're from Keio - you must know X-san and Y-san then? Yeah they are my best friends etc etc...

このブログであまり日本語が書かないな？それで、今から日本語を書くことにするつもりんだよね。がんばりましょうね！

じゃぁ、今日は「サクシ」ってレストランに行かなかったんだけど、雄飛さんはイギリスに帰ったとき、行って、「Ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅ　Ｐｅｒｓｐｅｃｔｉｖｅ］って聞くでしょうね。また、ながい先生にＥメールを貰ったんだ。

さぁ、

楽しくなそうだよ！

月曜日と木曜日火曜日には一授業課もがあるんだよ！じゃ、他方で水曜日はめんどうくさそうだよ！

三時間アツ・タワーに行って、言語学レクチャーのために、ヒックスってビールに行ったら、アツ・タワーに行き帰らなくちゃ！

Joint Honoursんで、みなさん！

最後、ユニオンで道に迷うそういしわた先生を見た。多分、付けてあげればよかったね。。。

二年生になくなったね！

New facebook is kinda like new coke. What the idiots in the 80's realised then haven't been realised by the idiotic bigwigs in today's industry.

You take a stable product with a clean crisp design and instead make into a horrible garbled mess brought on by some bizarre inferiority complex over a shitter product for skateboard suicide emo faggots. Anyways, there is no way in hell I'm killing time with that rubbish, so I've brought it back thanks to the magic of greasemonkey.

Install that on Firefox and then this

Oh and tell the idiots and facebook where you stand. They'll get the message soon enough.

My page was really all nice and neat and easy to read. You could see what I liked, what I didn't and who my friends were. On the new thing, you struggle to see anything. I really hope they change that. Because they will lose a lot of people through that.

Hopefully, I can start a series of this... because I generally do as the title says;



Japanese Cilit Bang.

バン。。。！！！それから、汚れは消えました！

Believe or not, I bought this in my hometown and waited 30 minutes on the checkout as the women tried to give me a price for it. It was so worth it.

My shower is now broken and I have not been able to use it yet. I called in twice downstairs and still nothing done. The thing is so small in detail, I would happily do it, if I was allowed to. I can see a situation of me being charged for damaging it. All it needs is to be opened up and the switch placed correctly, because the switch head has not been fitted on right.

If there is nothing done tomorrow. I'm taking matters into my own hands with a very large screwdriver (to batter the people downstairs to death with!!!)

Anyways, to prove how sad I am here's the start of my Japanese sticky wall, full of random facts and stuff I have to remember. Who knows, maybe it will get out of control and end up consuming the entire back wall of my bedroom?


Tomorrow, I'll be trying out the new Japanese sushi bar (Sakushi) and trying to get this t-shirt done up. Maybe... Possibly.

Nico Nico Douga (ニコニコ動画) is possibly one of the greatest Japanese sites on the internets at the minute. The name literally means smiling video or something of that ilk.

There are 1.5 million videos on the site and around 6.5 million members. Most impressive.

The funniest one doing the rounds so far is the Ronald McDonald 'meme'.

http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm2057168

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nhizo7KrZrw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-43qYNJjaPE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVcewUPbROU&feature=related

This is a spliced advert from a McDonalds ad in Japan. Yes, clowns are still selling burgers in Japan. The comments on the screen, are actually members comments which scroll along. Its a unique feature for the website and allows a bit of interactivity with the video. So of them like the above, can get very schizophrenic at times.

The second one was a mix between the anime Lucky☆Star and of course the creepy advert. It was taken off Nico originally, but is now on youtube for all to see.

Yay! I've finally moved in. My room is clean(ish) my flatmates are nice and clean (in more ways than one *cough*) and I got the internet working as well. The flat itself is not a bad price considering we get a flat screen HD-TV, super fast broadband, a big bed and en-suite. Oh sir, with these facilities you really are spoiling us. Overall I think we are saving about 500 to 600 from last year.

Rockingham House (awesome name) is literally a stone's throw from campus - which is handy for those nights out - and given the fact its on a fairly uncommon route - is not always full of students keeping everyone awake.

I also seem to be the only white person in this entire building! Seriously. Yay for ethnic diversity! But its obviously something I'm going to have to get used to in a few years as I'll be surrounded by Japanese/Chinese/Koreans all day. Its a weird experience being back in Sheffield right now. No-one is back and the IC has a creepy air about it. The air of saddos studying in their own time. Saddos like me.

I really now have to start studying though. The kanji writing come and go like the wind, but the readings should really be set in stone. I discovered a fair few extra readings which we haven't learned but which are probably quite effective in a few years. I also gave myself a scare when I had a sneak peak at the Year Abroad handbook. Its really putting me off now. The whole money/jouyou kanji/scholarship thing. I have come to the realisation that I probably won't get into my chosen uni (whatever that is) and won't get a scholarship (I don't work hard enough) and won't get a girlfriend, a well paying job or a nice car. Woe is me. >o<

Apparently I've learnt the following already;

* I can't work until 3 months into my visa (which the uni will advise against even after the 3 months.)
* I have to obtain a certificate of eligibility - which is issued in July/August (when I may be in China!)
* I need to take this thing to the Hong Kong embassy - because the Japanese embassy in China don't issue to non-Chinese nationals and take an age to sort things out.
* I need about 6 grand in the bank

Oh well. These are problems for another day. I have to plan and apply for my trip yet! And I also have to pass this year!

Laters;

Richard
リチャード☆
(Putting the Rock in Rockingham House!) ^o^

Ugh, I'm starting the detox early and never eating fatty foods again. I stupidly ate a KFC today and I feel like crap. I actually feel fat and stodgy. My whole body has some sort of ache about it. The thing is, I'm not really addicted to this thing. It just somehow forces its way down my esophagus.

Honestly, I don't know why I put myself through this much pain. I am going to the gym tomorrow to sweat out this crap and then detoxing with some nice fruit and veg and water. I was planning to start my diet and detox when I get back to Sheffield, but I've decided its best to do it ahead of schedule.

I'm also giving up the booze and will only drink in social situations when I go out with friends to the pub or nightclub. My body is slowing down. Aaaarrrggggghhhh. I also installed MSN ahead of schedule because I need to talk to Murakawa (ah bless him - he's even back on facebook now.) Sadly its getting unintsalled in about 30 minutes because I want to stay true to my promise and not just detox my body. I want my mind in tip top shape for the start of my second year in Sheffield.

Unbelievably, I have given up the idea of finishing these books for linguistics. The main problem is the sheer distance to the library. I can't focus at all in my room and I have to go to the library to study. However its 2.6 miles either way (that's a total 5.2 miles on the bike) and I just don't have the strength to do the journey just to read some books.

Thankfully I'll be able to study when I get back as I'll be in a much more stable environment and of course a far less daunting journey to get there! For the first few days back in Sheffield and pretty much 75% of fresher's week I'll be studying in the IC. What a comepletly sad bastard I am!

I don't know where this optimism for next year is coming from... Perhaps its living with people I genuinely like, or maybe its because I've braved the first year and have developed a smugness. I don't have to work hard as those in their final year, and I can lecture the first years on life in Sheffield and beyond.

I'm starting to plan what I'm going to do for freshers, as last year was a bit of a washout because I still felt way out of my comfort zone at times. It should be nice if we can get something organised for all the JS crew (that's Japanese Studies folks) as it would be really good to get to know everyone. The wonderful thing about Japanese at Sheffield is that because its such a niche subject, everyone knows everyone and there is a friendly, family feel amongst the people who study it.

Hopefully the dates we plan for the intro thing, will be on a date that suits my timetable! ^o^

There is something weird in the air. Maybe its week old beer and monster munch farts, but I think this year is going be quite good for me. Maybe, just... maybe. We shall see. Optimism is an usual thing. I just wish it isn't a cruel one.

On Friday, I bit a bullet. Both literally and figuratively. The day before, after eating something hard, I felt a searing pain on my tooth. Soon enough the pain turned into a headache and my mouth was aching. Wonderful. Now I have to see a dentist. Except, my membership has ran out and if I want to see an NHS one I have to wait 4 months. My mind turned somewhat because, they might not be anything wrong with my tooth and it might not need any attention. But then again it *may* and I *may* need to have some work done on it.

Well the ending of the story is that I paid 139 pounds, yes that's 1, 3 and then 9 in order for a stand-in dentist to say there was nothing wrong with me and it was just some mild trauma caused by sensitive teeth. Grrrr. >o< So, my financial prudence this year gets off to the worse possible start by being minus 139. The way I see it, its more of an insurance for this year and looking ahead a good insurance before I go to Japan. I want to get the all-clear before I head off abroad so I'm not lumbered with astronomical dentist bills in the land of the rising sun (or should that be receding gums? Ho-ho-ho-ho. Not funny is it?)

Later on a saw the new Guy Ritchie film called RocknRolla - which was okay and then gave myself mild food poising by eating some mouldy cheese. Ugh. Well perhaps it was the cheese or England's first half performance against Andorra. 2-0, against Andorra. I do despair, although I really want England to qualify I'm not optimistic with performances like that. Let's hope both Japan and England don't mess it up. With any luck, I should be in Japan for England's final few games of qualification. But I've banned that particular 5 letter word from my brain until February. Must study. Must STUDY!!!

Its also been 3 weeks since the event that semi-changed my perspectives, I feel far better for it. I'm actually really excited abut returning to Sheffield now! 6 days to go? Yatta!!!

Get the joke? Baka-rash-ii.

Hahahaha. Oh well.

I am in agony. I have seemingly developed an allergic rash from something and it has been bothering me since I have been back home. I can only deduce several things from it. Either my bedsheets/linen on my bedroom in my parent's house OR the conditioner I have been using. I don't think the conditioner is an issue, as I always use that type of stuff. So it has to be my bed. Time to change it. NOW. Even though its half 11.

Well I'm taking precautions now. Changing the sheets and going to Tesco tomorrow to buy the conditioner that served me so well and didn't make my entire body turn into an itchy red blur. Let's hope it goes when I go back to Sheffield and aren't exposed to this house which is seemingly one giant allergy to me.

Ah the sudocream, it does nothing... NOTHING!!!

14 days to go until Sheffield has to tighten its stomach muscles and close its mouth...

It now Saturday, Boro are just an hour away from embarrassing themselves at home to Stoke (the last time we played Stoke at home we lost one nil in the pissing rain) and I'm now having just weird random thoughts about my life and my future life at Sheff.

I seem to be thinking about losing things I don't have, wasting things I haven't bought and forgetting things I haven't learnt.

Anyways, I have only been to Japan twice in my life-time. Once last February in 2007 for a week and previous to that way back in 2005 when I didn't know any better. I feel a little underwhelmed having not lived in Japan and having not spent the long summers camped out in the middle of some ryokan in Magome-juku with a bowl of natto and a damp futon for company. However that is the experience I feel now. A sense of complete isolation from the world. A complete disconnection from myself and the things around me. I need Sheffield, whiskey and some Japanese people to reel me back in and get me back to my (un)usual self...

In many ways however I feel more confident and buoyed by the fact that my Japanese is not that bad - and its capable enough having not lived in Japan for a long period and having only just started studied this language two years to the day last week. Before then, I couldn't read, write or speak anything - and now I am being politely undermined by the Japanese リチャードさんは上手ですね。 God, I hate the Japanese so much sometimes. LOL. You can never tell if they really think your Japanese is good or are just humouring you. Credit to my flatmate, who will cut it straight with you - a rarity for a Japanese person.

I am now in the advanced stages of planning my second year - and I'm having to budget A LOT, especially now that I am travelling over the summer as well as across Japan next year (hopefully.) My parents are doing the softly softly approach of dropping hints whenever I mention travelling next summer ("better start saving then...") So far I have about £500 in savings, which should see me across Siberia. Perhaps I should just stop there, find a rustic town, teach English to the locals, marry the beautiful mayor's daughter, settle down and forgot all this Japanese rubbish. Or maybe not...

God I think I'm going insane.

I need some Sheffield to calm me down.

Timetables are now out, albeit for Linguistics and here it is;

Wednesday - 12:10 - Lecture Theatre 6 - Hicks
Thursday - 12:10 - Lecture Theatre 4 - Hicks

Well I only have one module!

As anticipated, I have pretty much all of Friday off! If Nagai-sensei allows me to come in earlier on a Friday of course. I would happily get up at 9am, just so I could have the rest of the day to myself... お願いします先生。。。 -_-

I can't believe the folks on ELL220 (language politics, Policy and planning) however. They have just one 2 hour lecture a week! Grrrr. This is the module I wanted to do, but wasn't allowed to, because it was overbooked. I'm still sorta happy doing Lexicology though, even if there is an exam and essay. No seminars does kinda make up for things however.

Wednesdays are officially a bitch!!! My week is almost like a sandwich with all my stuff packed into the middle of the week. Heh. The tutorials are basically stuff for our year abroad and are apparently quite informal. Sadly it looks like my other module "Understanding Japan through Contemporary Texts clashes with my Lexicology lecture and the other seminar thingy is straight after my Lexicology lecture on the previous day! So there is three different modules in 3 hours - back to back. I hope to god, they can see the light and change the timing ever so slightly just to give me a break. Come on SEAS sort it out and release some info for me! The pressure is killing me.

Obviously this is only provisional so I anticipate them to be switched to later time in the day. The department themselves have even said they prepared everything as not to clash with anything. -_- Hmmmm.

But potentially having all of Monday and Friday off is just: mwahahaha. *o*

Went to the gym today for the first time in ages and my back is now very sore. Plus I also can't remember any of these goddamn kanji. I hate them so much. >o<;

Also my Japanese friend asked me what 'rueful lament' is in Japanese. I can't even find 'rueful' or 'lament' in my jisho, so his guess is as good as mine. Just shout what you think it is really loud and most English people will get the gist I reckon. Hell, who needs English teachers when you have the power of shouting at will, the most arbitrary and inane things in your language?

SSSSTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOMMMMMMMPPPPP - STOMP!

PS: I've reached 4 days so far. Things are looking good.

Copy of the email I sent yesterday afternoon:

Guys, I’m sick of getting asked of what tunes I played, so here is some of the playlist from Monday night’s bash – I can’t remember the exact order, but I’ll try and make it as full and accurate as soon as possible.

These were the Japanese ones I played that seem to be garnishing the most queries in my mail box. Some of the remixes were done by various people off the net and I have no idea what they are called or who to credit them to.

Neon Genesis Evangelion OP – remix
Lucky Star OP - remix
Airman ga Taosenai – team nekokan
Tori no Uta – trance remix
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya – “Hare Hare Yukai” vs “God Knows”
Kigurumi – Kurutto Mawatte Ikkaiten (remix)
Figu@Carnival – “Gacha Gacha” Cu-te (remix)
FictionJunction YUUKA – “Hitomi no kakera”
Utada Hikaru - “For You” vs Breakbot - “Stereo Provolone”
Ayumi Hamasaki – Boys and Girls remix
Ayumi Hamasaki – Greatful Days (Para-One dub remix)
Eri Nobuchika - “Voice.” vs Strider – “Tokyo Loading”
Shinichi Osawa – “Ami nyuu ku tsu” (Simian Remix)
Ayuse Kozue – “Kimi no yasashisa” (remix)
Emi Hinouchi – “Summer Time Love” (deckstream remix)
Teriyaki Boyz feat. Emi Hinouchi – “Paradise Baby”
Eri Nobuchika – Sing a Song
Shinichi Osawa – Electro 411 (Lies in Disguise remix) vs Touhou Project
Touhou Project – Marisa wa taihen na mono wo nusundeikimashita
Utada Hikaru – Colors (DJ Ericz remix)
Omodaka – Kokoriko Bushi vs Cantana no 147

I hope I've not missed any out!

Me and my friend who shall remain nameless (although for arguments sake let's call him Shinji Murakawa of Tokyo/Golders Green) decided we would piss around on facebook and start creating fake accounts.

One such instance is where I created a fictional woman who was in love with Murakawa. Now, she has never posted anywhere else on facebook yet has seemingly received a bizillion friend requests - for someone that doesn't exist and is the deluded creation of me and my Japanese mentor. What's even creepier is that one of my created male personas (who I have written countless times into my short stories) has even had emails from completely randomn people either claiming to know him or commenting on his beautiful name.

His name!!!

There is no profile picture and no way to access what is actually on the profile page without being a friend! So what else is there? I guess his wonderful, yet rather dull and prosaic English name. His parents should be proud. If they existed or I could be bothered to create them of course.

Its times like this, that I just want to stay well clear of sites like facebook and treat everyone with huge suspicion. It seems that SNS's are now just divine vehicles were people show how fucking sad they are by having photos of them passed out at somebody's house (me notwithstanding) or them standing infront of Siem Reap to prove how much they are wasting their student grant and want the rest of their 567 friends to know how much better they are than you.

Over this time of facebook fraud, we've had some creepy e-mails and now me and Murakawa are wanting to take this a step further by culture jamming / annoying perverts by creating fake accounts for sites and seeing how many responses we get. One such site is a Japanese friends site. Its not an overt dating site and if you can keep your dick in your pants you can make some cool friends on it as I have done. Perhaps the fact that people are so desperate to find a J-girl online, shows that they could never do it in real-life and lack some type of social confidence, not just around J-girls but girls full stop.

In real-life of course, J-girls aren't stupid and unless you have possession of the gaijin charm you will get found out. They ain't stupid as much as Murakawa tells me and as easy as my Nagoya friend Yukari makes out. And yes, I have been 'out' with Japanese girls in the past, although my experience isn't as full as some -its possibly more so than most who have got 'yellow fever.'

I am tempted to test the water, by altering my account so it looks like I am a fun-time happy, even burikko J-girl who just wants some free eikaiwa. What kind of responses will I get? And does this offer a glaring insight into the mind of the community out there? Surely guys can't be after just one thing? Or maybe they are?

In the words of the late Emperor Hirohito...

Oh I do despair the folly of my army generals sometimes.

Its times like this that I hate to be a gaijin and even worse that I am self-confessed lover of foreign girls (although I am not exclusive to J-girls like some people.) I feel sorry for some J-girls who, are often blinded by their gaijin love, end up falling for complete pricks because they can't see the wood for the trees which is evident amongst most English people.

People often ask me: would I marry a Japanese girl? Probably would be the answer. It would kill my parents for 6 months though.

But would I make it my life's ambition that ultimately turned me into a walking bell-end?

Alas, even I am not that sad!

But sadly its inevitable - I shall be turning into a walking bellend soon, turning into a walking enigma that is the gaijin nanpa-machine come August 2009. STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!

STTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMPPPPPP!

Should have called my blog this in hindsight.

To prove how much I am committed to detoxing my MSN habit (bad women, bad thoughts go away NOW!) I have uninstalled MSN messenger and won't be installing it again until October at the very earliest.

We shall see how committed I am to this. I am truly sick of that thing now, its like a demon that won't go away and I'm fed up with uploading it to see who is online. Grrr. I remember doing a similar thing for while, and the first four weeks were a bitch, but now I hardly ever think of it. I guess the same goes for any addiction you have... I don't want to think waywardly any more. Let's see how far we can do this in conjunction with something that always takes my fancy. My wonderful beard.

Here goes the first photo in a truly wacky experiment. What does beard growth actually look like? The rest are going into facebook/Flickr in due course - but here is Day 1 to which I can look back against in a few weeks and see how well I have managed to stick to my agreed schedule.


I look very gaunt and pale tbh. Check out those jowls. However I look like I have aids or something. LOL. I look much older which is really strange as I always thought my beard made me look older! God I really miss my beard now! I also need some tea tree oil for these damn spots and my redness. Grrrr. off to the shops tomorrow then - and back to reading the salivating epic that is Language and the Lexicon.

I'm back in the UK now, armed with a shitload of beer to get a Rhino wankered and a stolen 30mm round from an Heavy Machine Gun (just don't ask...)

I'm still single regardless of what I say, and I'm still wondering why Gerrard never produces that kind of form for England? Both counts are frustrating for me...

I really need to get some sanity back into my life and stop hoping things will happen when they won't. To quote my long since departed friend (whose name shall remain nameless);

Only when you are happy with yourself, will you ever be happy with someone else.

Never a truer word spoken.

I'm itching to get back to uni and just itching to forget all this bullshit heartache that has panged me for the last 8 months. Hell, I'm single. I'm damn proud to be, and I'm not going to let it get in the way of what I'm going to do. Sadly, although I really like Yukari - she and I are will never be more than just good friends, even though I would love it to be more than that. But in my heart of hearts I want something more tangible, real and associative. I'll just be who I am, become happy and good things will happen to me. Being sure of it, makes it more likely to happen I reckon.

Anyway, being single does suck - and am I slowly learning to fucking love it. Only since I started uni and hanging around a lot of cute girls did I realise that I wasted a huge gap in my life since I broke up with my ex.

Here's my new uni resolution starting next week;

- Get the hell off Facebook and MSN (its not healthy to spend so much time peering at how sad other people are...)
- Get a g/f (easier said than done - I thankfully stayed single in the first year, which was a huge relief for all concerned.)
- Join a gym
- Join a sports society (probably Badminton or Jiu Jitsu)
- Find time to do something creative and constructive at least once a week
- Read a fictional book at least once a week.
- Get myself out to the pub at least once a week.
- Don't get drunk more than once a week (might nullify the previous if I'm stupid, but what the hell.)
- Yeah, don't be stupid.
- Eat healthy (no more stodgy fats and comfort food that makes you feel depressed.)
- ENJOY EVERYTHING (I may drop out, I may join the circus and become the next president of Nepal, therefore I have to keep a positive spin on things.)
- Finally, Take advantage of things given to you. And be more fucking socially active.

Man, that's a lot of things.

Anyway, I'm now in the process of writing up things for my new flat and preparing to get back into the swing of uni work by spending the next 3 weeks camped inside Teesside Library.