I hate dieting. I hate revising. I hate the cold. But of course I know that dedication is the key and if I can maintain these (well except the cold - but you never know in the UK) I shall be rewarded with a nice grade and a nice body. The ultimate goal is fitness and Japan. But I'm ever more increased to just pass the exam and overall do my degree. Yes, if I manage to go to Japan its going to be a great experience for me - one that many will not have in their lives. But... its still a novelty, the fear factor hasn't kicked in yet and it really hasn't sunk in - aside from the forms I have to fill in and the jabs I have to receive.

Fitness wise - I've taken the drastic step to quit drinking, both from a health pov and a mental one. I'm thinking that the more I drink, even in short spells, the more I'm likely to regret it when I look at my wallet and my regime of fitness. in the long-run I need to save money in these following six months and also need to build up my fitness for travelling. Backpacking takes a lot out of you! I need to get back in shape, so that lugging a large rucksack across the continent and exploring cities across the globe won't physically kill me. *ugh* But how its such a pain. 6 months or bust. I'm really just knuckling down now. I couldn't care less about anyone else on my course. The main goal is passing. But at the same time, the very people who support me, the people who drive me on when things get low are my mates, are the people around me on this course, are the people whom I want to see next year in Japan.

Therein lies the paradox of things. I want to focus on myself and neglect certain social aspects of doing this degree but at the same time want the compassion and socialisation of people around me. Things would get incredibly dull if I studied all the time. I need a break from studying, even though studying is important. Its a matter of short-bursts rather than burning out after two days - which is what I have experienced so far in my 4 months as a ninensei...

My finances are running terrible now. I've anticipated that I'll need to spend around £50 a week (which pays for everything - laundry, food, toiletries, travel etc.) That will save me about £800 I reckon, depending on whether I stay at home or not during the holidays. I'm now deciding to stay at home for longer periods merely to save some money. This means I'll be back home for a week after all my exams have finished. 7 weeks back in Sheff. 3 weeks back home. 8 weeks back in Sheff. Home. Christ, that's only 18 weeks in Sheffield (counting these three weeks.) Considering how quickly 14 weeks passed, I should fucking savour these times not lament how I'll fail and get fat!

I've also seemingly neglected the variant in this issue - namely this girl I've discovered. I like her, I really do - and the jury is still out as to whether she likes me back in equal measures. At the moment she's a friend and at the minute I think I'm tirelessly going to play it as such. I've never had to fit in trying to juggle gym, study, women in all one go. But now I'm going to have to. It'll certainly make sure I'm not vegetating. The only problem is that women are expensive - studying and working out oth isn't. *sigh* Besides, what started as a desire to get a g/f this year has dwindled somewhat. I just can't be bothered anymore. I'll make friends and if things happen they happen. I know for certain, that the end result, will be significantly more happy than if I try and force things to happen, be that a relationship, my weight or Japanese proficiency. These things take time. And time is what I have a lot of right now - despite the dark clouds of my exam dates circling above me.

Ice-station zebra, sorry Rockingham house is fully operational and my revision is going okay. Its just the sheer amount of stuff I have to revise. Most of my Japan's Minorities is typed up and I'm in the process of just looking over extra material to see if I can shoe-in some interesting tid-bids for my exam. Lexicology - which can personally take a dive into an ocean, has to be done but I'm now in the process of merely cramming for that exam. Doing the bare minimum by learning information that I can cram and dump and not bother about again. Minorities geninuely interests me, but Linguistics can die for all I care. And it will, once I sign the paperwork next semester. None of this dual-degree nonsense. Both departments function brilliantly as two wholes but as one collective agreement, they don't function at all.

Kinda like me and my social and academic life. *sigh* Oh well..

じゃぁ、ヘルモンじゃないよ！踊れ、踊れ、踊れ、勉強しろよ！

またね。。。

This week Richard is... physically knackered after only two days back in Sheffield. Sleeping, revising, eating and typing out long-winded sluices that almost break laptop keyboards. Also is wondering how quiet and pleasant a freezing cold Sheffield is when most of the students aren't here. How it won't last.