I've just got my finances back from Middlesbrough LEA regarding my year abroad in Japan. Basically I've got £300 and then my parents must supply around £1000 and anything on top of that will be refunded back.

So therefore shipping, visa costs, travel insurance will all come to around that amount but things like shipping back from Japan and return flights during the year will probably be refunded back. Its all a little too embarrassing, given the fact I am left with no other option to seek financial compensation from my parents.

This all leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Had I not been altogether too hasty in going to uni and waited one year - my LEA would be paying for everything because I will be over 25. This sucks when I'm getting no scholarship monies and will have to look for work in Japan. Fuck whatever immigration and my uni are saying - if they don't want me to physically fucking starve to death in Japan they should have gave me a scholarship. I'm also slightly worried about my accommodation in Japan. Unless the rent is below 30,000 yen a month I am fucking screwed. In the odd case that Seijo decide to screw me over with the accommodation costs I've found a decent gaijin guest house in Suginami, which works out a bit cheaper than Sheffield.

Bah! My only salvation is that NEXT year will be awesome, because I'll be getting the full amount plus a huge non-repayable amount of £1000 for being an old duffer. That money is going direct on a trans-Siberian journey to Singapore. Quite frankly Japan and the whole year abroad is looking like a pain in the arse financially. Altogether its seeming more of a one year inconvenience and less of this wondrous 'journey of a lifetime' that is opined by some and preached to by many.

As always, I'm slow to blog about these things, but quite frankly I hate to write my feelings on the matter before the dust has settled and I get a more clearer view of things.

The internet has practically swelled at the news of Michael Jackson's early death. Google is reporting 40% of its hits are MJ related, whilst on youtube, the majority of Michael Jackson videos (both anarchic and loving tributes) have seen an explosion in the number of views.

Also with Jackson's untimely death, the relevance of twitter has yet again provided an interesting focal point for the media. It was estimated as the news broke, around 100,000 tweets per hour about the death were published. Last week the explosive political situation in Iran provided such western media outlets with a rich source of first-hand information from local Iranians, as well allowing the Iranians themselves to be able to access unrestricted information from behind Iran's politically electronic firewall. It was probably the first major event where Twitter has become a major source for the media to scour for both information of the riots as well portraying the interactivity of the young Iranians.

It is this reporting of Twitter's tweets in the midst of Jackson's death that has completely replaced the standard 'vox populi' (the general opinion of the general public.) For the first time ever, one does not need to go out onto the streets, camera in tow, and seek out individuals to thrust a microphone into. The internet and twitter and has now proven a more able and actually most cost effective way of gauging public sentiment and reporting information. Quotes can be used ad-verbatim from the thoughts and feelings from anyone in the world on any emotional cataclysmic event such as this. Sky News were the prime purveyors of this 'nouvelle vague' of media journalism by listing the 'tweets' of celebrities' updates when the news broke.

It was the latter news broadcaster who erroneously reported British Foreign Secretary David Miliband's message on twitter - which turned out to be false, as Mr. Miliband does not have a twitter account. A hasty backtrack after some clarification from other news outlets then ensued. So despite the modern technological revival of journalism in the shape of twitter, there are clearly some faults in this system.

However sifting through these hundreds of 'tweets' regarding Jackson's death is like reading an corpus of human suffering and misery. But more so on a wider-scale. Hollywood C-listers and random no-mark celebrities champing at the bit to pronounce their 'grief' as it turns up on all media outlets. It seems as if Michael Jackson's death could well be the turning point for all future events that requires mass opinion in so very little time upon when the story breaks.

My 'tweet' was not poetic or gushy but merely one of shock. I think for most people, it came as a shock given the star's pop cultural relevancy, anything else is tautological emotion for the sake of respite. Growing up in the UK and even small spells abroad during the 80's and 90's - Michael Jackson's music and persona were known everywhere by everyone. I think he is held in such esteem that his aurora went far and beyond that of most state figures.


Jackon's music was quite earth-shattering at the time, and it was his attention to the music video that elevated him beyond other recording artists. Without a doubt Thriller - which has become an iconic symbol of the modern pop video, remains one of my favourite music songs of all time. It is a song that is often parodied, honoured and ridiculed but still remains a symbol of the early days of "pop video operas" that Jackson helped to create.

As one soars so greatly, the ascent down is often great too. One cannot fly so high and hope to achieve this level of success. The stories of his morbid personal life, are probably no more lurid than that of most music celebrities today. It is however, sadly the state most people will remember Jackson, in that post-Thriller era where the physical and emotional changes began to haunt the man and his beloved fan-base. Jackson's legacy as a ground-breaking music artist would soon be whitewashed by some, due in part to the allegations surrounding the child molestation charges. It was these final days, during these infamous trials and accusations that began to take the final toll on Jackson's physical and emotional health. It appears that the people who bought into Jackson's music, his bizarre social upbringings and moral takes on the world were the ones who were first ones to recoil backwards and spring upwards whenever his name was sounded out.

Although I would count myself as a fan of Jackson's work, I see myself highly cynical of his personal life. So much money squandered through lifestyle of the boy that never grew up. It seemed all too much horribly pastiche of Hollywood, especially during his final few years on this planet. It is however undoubtedly wrong of me to criticise a dead man's actions during the time he was alive without knowing all of the murky facts. I, just like the rest of the vengeful critics of his lifestyle - should simply judge the man by his musical ability and talent. Of which there was plenty.

I hope people enjoy the new look to my blog. Its been a year since I started it, so I really need to have it changed. I toyed with various ideas but I felt that it was better to revert to a two column affair. It looks a lot nicer now anyway. The only things I need to change are the links on the side and also some icons on the bottom of the page. Hopefully I'll get these done soon. At the moment, the contact page is not functioning but you can still access my twitter feed and flickr account.

I'm sitting here typing this and the temperature in my bedroom in my parent's house is now a lovely 38 degrees Celsius. I don't know what it is, but the combination of no ventilation and the plethora of electronic equipment running (hi-fi, decks, PS3, laptop, lamp...) the room gets baking hot. I'm not kidding, its like walking into a tropical heatwave. The good news is that this will help me recover when I go to Japan and have to deal with the hideous humidity.

At the moment, I've been sent an electronic exam to do for Seijo (my uni that I will be going to from September.) It all looks a bit easy and is comparable to first year Japanese at my uni. The only thing I failed to actually do was some horrendous idiom that I have never come across before. お目にかかる - to meet (honorific) or to be recognised.

Its odd, because I really struggled remembering all this honorific crap. I hardly ever use it and all seems so rusty. Anyways, the 'exam' is a piece of piss and all it does is show I can master what they actually expect of me. According to the e-mail, classes start on the 24th of September and we will be using this.

The funny thing is, I've never used a textbook to learn Japanese and I don't think I have ever used one inside an actual academic class. For sure, I use them outside of class for grammar revision and vocab, maybe even reading practice - but not for actual learning inside the classroom. This is going to seem odd. Also, I can't quite decide where my actual level is - I mean, I have mastered nearly all of the JLPT level 2 grammar and kanji - the only thing that is letting me down is vocab. Pure and simple. I feel sorry for the teacher sending the forms out, because we are asked what textbooks we have used - and I simply have to say 'none'. Although, I would love to add 'because they suck... that's why!'

The wonderful thing about Sheffield is that all the material we use in class are produced by the language staff and as such its far easier to understand. Most textbooks that teach you Japanese presume that you are either a) American or b) a businessman. When you are neither it becomes really tedious having to seep through American English expressions and words and then learn some kanji for 'principle agreement'. Waste. of. time. Looking at internet copies of the above book, it seems I have pretty much mastered everything in it. Wow, this is going to be fun!

The suckiest thing about Seijo is that because there are very few international students, there are no groupings - its just one class. Hence if everyone is at a much lower level you have to sit through that level. That said, if everyone is at a higher level, I have to sit through that. But I would prefer the latter over the former anyday. Still, I need to go over the stuff I have done, because I'm forgetting some simple stuff. I also need to go back over first year kanji again. Overall, my aim at Seijo is speaking Japanese - I don't give two twiddly fucks about learning the same shit I've been doing in Sheffield. So balls to that quite frankly.

The best thing about these forms was a question that read 'Why do you want to study Japanese?'

Hmmm... just give me five years to answer that one. You really don't want to open that pandora's box and discover what has been lurking inside there for the past 24 years.

As for the whole year abroad, things are really stalling. I've done nothing for it so far. No studying, no booking, no insurance, no travel plans, train tickets, shipping costs etc. Nothing. Nada.

Despite this lack of energy and scholarship monies and anything resembling a sexlife I just thank myself a little that I haven't been enrolled at Doushisha. Basically, the University of Sheffield have formed a partnership with Doushisha university in Kyoto. Every year 10 people are sent there on an academic exchange (literally our year abroad as part of Japanese Studies.) The amusing thing about it, is that it seems to have developed a curse, with the people being assigned there, dropping off the course like flies. I just know, had I not selected Tokyo on my list of choices, I may have been sent there and would have been contemplating my Japanese future. I think out of the 10 that were assigned there, only 3 are definitely going. o_O

Right I've got forms to fill and stuff to unpack tomorrow. The spare room in our house is full of my crap and I need to sort it out.

Anyways, I have to go now. My chair has just melted into the ground.

Jaa ne.

A long time has passed since my last blog, so I'll try and be quick. Well firstly the good news is that I am confident that I have passed all my exams, as I have had no threatening e-mails sent to me (normally when we screw the exams up, we are given an e-mail from our head of year demanding, sorry requesting a chat to discuss what happens next.) So thankfully that hasn't happened, and I am freaking happy that there are no new e-mails in my e-mail box.

However one message I would like in my e-mail box is one from my university in Japan. The last time I had contact with them was back in Easter when I sent my stuff off about my finances. So far, I have no idea where I will be living in Japan next year or when or if I can come to Japan. Right now, I am waiting for the Certificate of Eligibility, a piece of paper that allows me to apply for a student visa at my local consulate - which incidentally is in Edinburgh. It seems out of the 30 odd of us going to Japan, only three of us have to apply for our visas there. After the horror stories of the embassy in London as well as having to potentially wake up at 5am and drive for 6 hours - its a welcome relief I only have a 2 hour drive to Scotland. I've also heard the entire procedure at Edinburgh runs a lot smoothly given the smaller numbers of applicants for Visas up there.

If all goes to schedule (so far Seijo have been really quick and easy with any queries and paperwork) then I should have my certificate sometime in about 3 weeks.

Currently my short-term goals are to lose weight for Japan and also to get cracking on this vocab and kanji. My vocab has gotten increasingly shit as the 2nd year has trudged on and its something that is going to pull me down in Japan.

At the moment Sheffield is a picture of slow death. Nobody is here except international students, postgraduates, people who have failed and are studying for resists and then of course an usual hybrid of International postgraduates who are resitting. (!) So basically the whole student lifestyle and running into random people you know is probably gone for a while. Sadly its going to be gone for quite a bit. A sad fact of life is many of my friends outside my course will probably have graduated by the time I come back, meaning that for Year IV of my degree in Sheffield will probably be ground-zero again. Oh well, its been two years of fun in Sheffield, a time of fun coming to an end and a time that I probably will never get again. I just can't describe how fun its been and how much I've really enjoyed it in a disappointing yet rewarding kinda way. I suppose all of these sad emotions is the price I pay for going to Japan for a year. And that is something most people would probably give their right testicle for (I know my flatmate would!)

Anyways, Japan is something like 70 odd days away and I have a wide-open summer ahead of me. I just want to get back to my hometown, get on my bike and think about other things now. My mind is slowly leaving the life of Sheffield now, even though my body is still here.

At the moment, I am currently absorbed into a collaboration of two of the most enigmatic and often visually spasmodic artists, Fizzy Eye productions - who are responsible for an absolute ton of material (such as sketches on Monkey Dust and advertisements for the Honda Jazz..) together with the beautiful electronica of Wagon Christ (aka: British DJ Luke Vilbert.)

'Sorry I make you lush' which came out on the Ninja Tune label way back in 2004 is probably one of my favourite underrated albums within that genre and most definitely one of the better CD's to bear the label Ninja Tune.

Sit back, listen and enjoy with a nice coffee and a good feeling of the world...

On Friday, I ventured out into Crookesmoor Park in Sheffield to have an end of year BBQ. The result was slightly catastrophic as I managed to get severe sun-burn and then get very drunk. Although I managed to avoid making a complete asshat of myself.

Roll on the next day and with arms looking like a fire hydrants, I managed 12 hours of sleeping off an hangover, a few hours pissing around on the internet and then a few more hours of sleep.


Right now, Sheffield is dying. The people are leaving and its suddenly turning into a quiet state of normality. When about 20% of the local population are students, suddenly once the exams are done, the town has a different vibe to it. What is also dying, or at least I think is dying is my relationship with girlwhohappenstobemyfriend. I think, for all intents and purposes nothing is going to come out of it. Or at least nothing at the present time. I feel quite tired trying to make an effort of it and right now I'm just giving up. Maybe someday it will work, but not now... I think its too hard to say why I don't think it will work. Perhaps it will. But at the minute I think we are both in a period of limbo. I'll see what happens when I see her before she leaves. I just don't think we are on the same wavelengths as eachother at times and I think we both really need to see where this relationship is currently at and where it is heading in the future.

I kinda like the idea of going to Japan single...or at least open to some fun. Oh well. The thing which hurts me the most is the fact that I still want to maintain some form of friendship with her, but just can't see myself doing this now. It just seems too awkward given the fact I had feelings for her. I just don't want to be in a position where I seem to focus all my energy on one thing and neglect the rest. *bah* Anyways, this will be the last post I make about my current relationship status - so you'll just have to deduce what is going on from my innane ramblings.

Anyways, its quite amazing how rapid realities change in life. Perhaps I will discover someone or something in Japan that will change my life in ways I can only ever imagine. Anyway, its 4am - I'm still a bit depressed - just need to get my head in gear and find something interesting to do.