Exam results are out tomorrow and to celebrate, I think I am now officially single again. Huzzah! Or at least by default I'm single again. *shrug*

I'm not looking forward to the results quite frankly, and more to the point - I don't care one jot. Not one little bit. Nada. Nothing. In fact, I might not even bother looking up the grades. Its pointless. I've probably failed or possibly scraped a pass. Meh, its only Japanese. I mean its not even that important a language or culture. There I said it. I want to go on a big rant against Japan but I really couldn't be arsed, because I'm still feeling a little sick and a bit sad now that singlehood is back on me. Oh well, should have some fun in Japan. NOT. :-p

laters folks.

I'm back in the UK now, armed with a shitload of beer to get a Rhino wankered and a stolen 30mm round from an Heavy Machine Gun (just don't ask...)

I'm still single regardless of what I say, and I'm still wondering why Gerrard never produces that kind of form for England? Both counts are frustrating for me...

I really need to get some sanity back into my life and stop hoping things will happen when they won't. To quote my long since departed friend (whose name shall remain nameless);

Only when you are happy with yourself, will you ever be happy with someone else.

Never a truer word spoken.

I'm itching to get back to uni and just itching to forget all this bullshit heartache that has panged me for the last 8 months. Hell, I'm single. I'm damn proud to be, and I'm not going to let it get in the way of what I'm going to do. Sadly, although I really like Yukari - she and I are will never be more than just good friends, even though I would love it to be more than that. But in my heart of hearts I want something more tangible, real and associative. I'll just be who I am, become happy and good things will happen to me. Being sure of it, makes it more likely to happen I reckon.

Anyway, being single does suck - and am I slowly learning to fucking love it. Only since I started uni and hanging around a lot of cute girls did I realise that I wasted a huge gap in my life since I broke up with my ex.

Here's my new uni resolution starting next week;

- Get the hell off Facebook and MSN (its not healthy to spend so much time peering at how sad other people are...)
- Get a g/f (easier said than done - I thankfully stayed single in the first year, which was a huge relief for all concerned.)
- Join a gym
- Join a sports society (probably Badminton or Jiu Jitsu)
- Find time to do something creative and constructive at least once a week
- Read a fictional book at least once a week.
- Get myself out to the pub at least once a week.
- Don't get drunk more than once a week (might nullify the previous if I'm stupid, but what the hell.)
- Yeah, don't be stupid.
- Eat healthy (no more stodgy fats and comfort food that makes you feel depressed.)
- ENJOY EVERYTHING (I may drop out, I may join the circus and become the next president of Nepal, therefore I have to keep a positive spin on things.)
- Finally, Take advantage of things given to you. And be more fucking socially active.

Man, that's a lot of things.

Anyway, I'm now in the process of writing up things for my new flat and preparing to get back into the swing of uni work by spending the next 3 weeks camped inside Teesside Library.

Its really nice to speak with my Japanese's friends through MSN recently. Although Yukari is really upsetting me with her tales of woe, it was nice to chat with my friend Saori from Nara the other day. Even though she told me she wants a mixed raced baby （日本語で：合い子）　in Canada, it was nice to hear her sounding so happy about her prospects. Thankfully, this is a stark contrast to Yukari whose boyfriend woes are becoming tiresome.

Speaking of female acquaintances in Japan, its been a long time since Miki and I exchanged e-mails, although recently we did find each other lurking about MSN one day before she went to uni. Internet forums and MSN have to be used liberally in this sense and obviously common touches do have to be applied. Some people are out to get a boyfriend or girlfriend (which is sadly 95% of the male population that trawl these sites) and some are misleading in their true intentions.

I don't believe much in things such as internet romance, as you really have to meet the person first and build up a slow rapport. I think if everyone could get a girlfriend that quick over the web, everyone would be doing it. But certainly making the first contact on the web is no mean thing.

The amount of weird Australian and Chinese people who have emailed me in the past month has been truly bizarre, although I must say my slew of activity has decreased this week.

I really do want to maintain friendships I forge with people on online, but sometimes its difficult, given the level of you have to put into it. In 3 months of messing about for online Japanese friends, I've made about 3 or 4 decent relationships which I will definitely hope to follow up once I'm out there.

Recently I feel a tad underwhelmed considering I won't be in Japan for another 14 months, so maybe I should have increased my 'circle' a few months before I was intending to leave the UK. Don't get me wrong, its nice to practice my Japanese, but you can't help but think I should be doing that in the more tangible world. Roll on Sheffield next year please. These 8 weeks of boredom are going to kill me.

This is inspired by a rather random episode last night as I was going to bed and attempting to finish up the vocabulary for ii keyoishi. My friend Yukari normally says hello to me, but today seemed very sad and decided to open to me about her ex. I've known about this for sometime and it hasn't bothered me - but now she seemed very worked up over it.

I found it bizarre that she decided to open to me at such a weird time. Straight after waking up. Just very odd that her mood should change like that. From someone who has been in long distant relationships, they take time, effort, patience and persistence. I think anyone who can handle them are much stronger. I'm sure she'll be stronger for it, because she really needs to learn how to deal with them.

Given the high level of people I know who are dating Japanese boys and gals, LDR's are sometimes extremely hard to deal with. Last year I almost semi-consciously decided not to get a g/f because it just messes things up. I also couldn't handle such long spells apart, so in that sense I understood my friend's pain.

My ex lived in Dubai and that was a nightmare sometimes. So what I'm saying is this.

That person may be far away, but you shouldn't see it as a challenge if you generally love someone. Be that 10 miles down the road or 10,000 miles.

Oh what beautiful sentiment for a Friday morning eh?

Finally, me and Mizuho are not an item, despite us making plans to go to Fuji Rock together next summer.

はい、まだ独身だなぁ。。。

じゃまたね　☆