Recently for Japanese class, we have to start producing blogs, mainly to improve our Japanese and also as something cool to do when in Japan.

I have decided to keep this blog, but will use another blog for the purposes of writing in Japanese and updating my progress on this course and in Japan. I'm not sure if we will be assessed on that or not, but at the moment I have to upload it with pre-approved things about Sheffield and Japan etc.

You can see my Japanese blog (at the moment just one introduction sadly) by clicking the little 日本語 icon on the top of the page.

Hisashiburi doesn't really cut it does it? I've really neglected my blog recently due to a tremendous work-load and the previous three and half weeks of having no laptop. Eek! Several huge events have taken place since I last blogged. Only this simple smiley (m(_ _)m) can redeem myself for being so grossly negligent to the blogging community (aka my flatmate who stalks reads this blog via his Iphone.)

Well let me begin with a few things that has happened over the past few weeks, even months since I last checked in.

Firstly and perhaps majorly, I won't be getting a scholarship for next year. I wasn't "considered" for the Seijo one, so instead its gone to the other girl I'm going with, and I also was disregarded for the JASSO one. In fairness, I would feel a sense of guilt taking Japanese taxpayers money for being totally inadequate when it comes to studying. I didn't deserve free money and didn't get it. I'll leave the generous gifts of cash to my parents.

Which brings me onto point two. This resulted in a late Easter scramble for a bank statement of £6000 in order to apply for the Visa. This is because I need to show I can support myself whilst I am in Japan. The reality is, I can't - and it was only the generosity of my parents that has saved me. In the past few days, I have been sending a few e-mails off to my representative at Seijo University in Japan (the uni I will be at next year) and have just sent off my statement to him yesterday. I pray to god its acceptable.

In the process of point of 2, I noticed one thing, well two things actually. Firstly the lack of proficiency in English when dialoguing with my co-coordinator in Japan and secondly how this will affect my placement next year. I was told some minor horror stories of how Seijo is a completely Japanese place with minimal international students and very few staff who speak English. Bless him, his English was good and understandable, but not of course fluent to any degree. This is going to work in my favour a lot. I know many of my colleagues on my course who are being shipped off to huge, vast universities where there are tons of English speakers and its 'oh so easy' to drift into the international bubble and never get out. Going somewhere, where there will be a handful of native speakers (sure French and Belgian speakers may speak English - but its not their first language!) will force me to speak Japanese and integrate. This got me thinking about my own psychological barriers sometimes. I am a curious fellow in that I tend to shy away when I have borders or walls that can protect me, yet when I know they are not there (for instance, if I am alone in some foreign country or place) I turn into a really friendly and confident guy. I think I internalise this as me knowing I am unable to hide behind anything I use any social fear I have to my advantage. I am now, believe or not, starting to look forward to next year. Up until recently, I was either not thinking about it or totally apathetic about the whole experience. But now, looking at some photos, watching some news, reading some random info I found about how to use Suica cards etc, I am getting really really excited. Its fast becoming a nervous excitement due to the relative time scale. The past 8 weeks, since I hastily came back and had a date with girlwhohappenstobemyfriend has flown by, just mindblowingly flown by. When I come back after this Easter break, I will have very little time left. Around 6 to 7 weeks! Thankfully, I only have to two three hour exams to pine over, so I'm feeling a bit more relaxed when I did this time during Christmas.

Where on earth has year II gone? I would like to know, seriously... >o<

Point 3 is that things are going well with girlwhohappenstobemyfriend or friendwhohappenstobeagirl which ever way you put it. We are close friends and will continue to see which way our relationship goes, especially when I go to Japan next year. Certainly, the fact I will be there and she will be within accessible distance, means that its something that can be continued. Like I said previously, its just nice to have female company - but I'm not forcing anything. I've been burnt in the past and just want to enjoy things right now. I personally think both of us are happy where are relationship is at now. I'll leave the mindless skirt chasing to the rampant yellow-fever androids that seem to encircle me at Japan Society. Honestly, I can show 'em a ton of places in Tokyo they can go to if they want a nice J-girl to sodomise for a spouse-visa. Wow... did I really say that? But more importantly, are they actually thinking that?

Aye, point 4 is that although I am increasingly besotted with the idea of going to Japan next year, something is telling me its not for me long-term. But we'll see how that plays out. At the moment, I'm focusing on the short-term and want to see this degree through to the bitter end. I would love to work somewhere more progressive in Asia other than Japan, which seems to be ridiculously expensive and most definitely overhyped in its assumptions by us gaijin. I always think the people who believe the world begins and ends in Japan are the very same who think the world is flat and have such narrowed views. There are so many different cultures and people out there - and by telling yourself studying Japanese opens your eyes to a different culture is just self delusional - because for the most part, it reaffirms a certain narrowmindedness act of self-rejection to everything else in this world. The same people I see who study Japanese, do so and seem to distance themselves from any fixed reality.

This said, there are many people in my year and who study Japanese who are really awesome and are just wonderful, amazing people - who I believe will be rewarded for seeing the reality whilst being able to live the dream. A juxtaposition of metaphysical thought that I DO believe can be achieved when the word Japan enters your head. It is not a state of mind or being. Its just a word. The happy, calm feelings that enter your head are just something that Vonnegut would have you believe as there to simply counter the bad ones.

Point 5 is that I have decided when I come back from Japan next year is to enroll on an advanced TESOL course (Teaching English as a Second or Other Language) after I graduate. This gives me the advantage or a) having a degree b) having some teaching experience during my YA and c) having an actual qualification to show for it. This gives me the chance to work teaching English anywhere in the world once I graduate! And hell, who needs Japan when the world is my oyster!

So where does this leave me?

I am now determined to do the following when in Japan.

1) Be active when in Seijo, basically because it will look really bad when they find out they didn't sponsor me! I have also concocted an evil plan which I will reveal when the time is right.
2) Get a nice teaching job.
3) Meet new J-friends
4) Improve my spoken Japanese through 3) and 1)
5) Visit Yokohama with girlwhohappenstobemyfriend
6) Finally drink some scotch with Taka in Hiroshima.
7) Improve my Karaoke skills
8) See as much as Japan as possible
9) Discover Japan, reject it and then rediscover it again.
10) BLOG MORE!!!!

I still think 7) is m favourite, but most definitely I am looking forward to 9)...

Well all that is moot - because to get to Japan - I have to study! I am have decided to give myself a week off and will be back to the grind of kanji/sakubun/translation practice next Monday. Ugh.

See you later.

Wow, such a long time since I blogged last. Some good news, some bad, some middling. The good news is that I passed my medical exam for Japan, but thoroughly ballsed my Japanese language exam up. I was pushing hard for a 2.1, had a high 2.2, but then apparently, I completely bombed on one section of the exam, resulting in a 48.

Gutted.

There is nothing I can do, but I seriously think the lack of prep and how quickly I rushed through it killed me. What annoys me is that there are obviously some people who got higher than me, yet I know my other grades along the board are higher. I'm not going to say that some people didn't deserve to score higher than me - but it sucks given all the hard work I put in. If the grades were constantly low, I could have taken that, but that one section on one exam has screwed my grade up. At first I went through a range of emotions, but now I am resigned to just passing this year. I'm more concerned about gaining a 2.1 for masters purposes than obtaining a scholarship for next year. I would take in a heartbeat a PG scholarship to study abroad in Hong Kong rather than a JASSO one for next year.

Also, it appears I'm starting a blog in Japanese soon for my language classes. Oh wait... Well, let's just say there's going to be more Japanese appearing on this blog soon. I'm still not sure whether I'll seperate the English or the Japanese into different sections or not.

Finally, I think I'm truly fed up of this year now. Whether its because Japan is on the horizon or that all the women in my life have deserted me, I don't know. I have 10 weeks of lectures to go, and according to my flatmate - this time will just fly by. *ugh* I would love it to, but at the same time, I just want it to drag on and on - because in many ways I don't want it to. I will leave many things behind and many amazing and kind people as well. I just want to get my head down, eat, sleep, study, pass, open my eyes and just hope everything has turned out well.

On a truly final note: I think my laptop's hard-drive is well and truly dead now. It keeps making funny sounds and is going as slow as a snail crawling on its belly through thick tar.

Things are not looking good. Despite my application form for Seijo being relatively easy by other people's standards, I failed my health exam, or rather didn't pass one section on the exam. Basically my Blood Pressure is very high, mainly down to a combination of stress, anxiety and shitty lifestyle.... (maybe.) Well anyways, I wasn't able to be given a clean bill of health and now have to wait another week. And in this week, I am going to do everything in my power to reduce my anxiety and BP level. If its still high, then I am in the shit and may need to start going on the meds - which would require more fecking paperwork to fill out. I'm just thinking my BP got so high due to a lack of sleep the night-before, the stress of work and the anxiety of medical type things (which I am very VERY fearful of, I fucking hate hospitals.)

But on the plus side, I have until the 25th of March to finish my application, so plenty of time to get better. I hope... What pisses me off slightly is that I think my BP is the result of stress/anxiety rather than health, and clearly they are far more people unhealthier than me doing my course, but obviously not having the same critical thresholds for plaptations and soaring BP levels.

I've almost done week 1 of the 2nd semester and already its starting to drag. No wonder, I'm hypertensive. Pissed off with some my classmates (but you know, shou ga nai) and just want to knuckle down, do my work and make sure this semester passes quickly and easily without any hiccups. Hiccups like the one I experienced today.

On Saturday I received a lovely gift from an equally as lovely girlwhohappenstobemyfriend on one of our first rendezvous since late December. Its some type of Japanese bag type thing that she bought in York (there is shop there that sells Japanese stuff.) She also hand wrote me a beautiful card, which was really touching. I am not going to tell you what she wrote (it wasn't that personal, and half of it was written in Japanese.)


She's also been slightly aversive to me taking her out for Valentine's day (I guess because I wanted it to remain something of a slight surprise.) I mean, what girl in her right mind would not want to be taken out by a handsome Englishman for Valentines day? I'm sure she'll come round once she realises the symbolism this date has in Western cultures.

Or maybe I've just lost her forever... *sob* *sob* Its really weird going out with someone who you seem to share so many connections with... You can understand their reactions to things but in many ways are at a complete loss at how to deal with them.

I am now starting the second semester of the 2nd year of my degree here in Sheffield and suffice to say is not an understatement in saying that I am being worked to the bone. Monday's are an official pain in the arse, as I have four lectures and all of them are pretty hardcore. First off I have a Japanese translation class at 10am, then a lecture on Japanese society at 12pm, and then straight after that I have back to back Japanese grammar and Classic Japanese classes.

The thing is, there is so much work given out and so much work to do; today, as you've seen in my previous post, I had to learn a lot of honorific/humble Japanese, I was thus given my mammoth reading list for Contemporary society, was given my translation (which I understand a little bit of) and I sat there struggling with Classical Japanese, as my teacher bursts through it and the rest of the class (aka the smart-arse bastards) are well versed in this.

As I pass the mid-point of my degree, I am safe in the knowledge that everyone, bar one person doing the degree has passed the first semester. (Sensei usually informs us privately if we messed up.) I know one person dropped out, but that is neither here nor there. The amount of work given plus the increasing complexity of the work as well as attempting to build on what we have already have done in semster one is starting to take a strain already. However there is something tangible in the sense that Japan is merely 6 months away and that all this work will pay off for something. I would hate to get to this stage in my degree and simply give up. Not now, when I look back at all this hard work I have done. In many ways, I am fired up for this degree, ready to rise to the challenge and really push myself to the limit.

But whilst the mind is willing - even I have my limits and perhaps its asking too much of me. However given the fact that today is my official 'life is a bitch day' - I think its normal to feel a little overwhelmed. Especially after 7 weeks of not being in classes. Luckily for us, the easter break arrives after week 7, which is probably the stage most people will be crying out for a break. Right now, I'm just geared up for this hellish ride of 18 weeks or so.

So much classical Japanese grammar to learn, so many kanji compounds to remember, so many new words to remember, so much new grammar to use, so much old grammar to remember, so much old kanji to remember, so much stuff about contemporary society to remember...

Oh and I have to start writing my personal statement for Seijo this week.

But do I regret all this hard work and stress? Do I hell...! Bring it on!

Its now 5.30pm and I'm off to the library after the Simpsons to read some of my readings for Contemporary Society this week. ^^

Tomorrow is slightly less stressful, as I have a nice writing class in the morning and a little 3 hour break to catch up all my work before my speaking class (which I have signed up to a smaller group to get more practice in.)

Forming the honorific/humble forms in Japanese.

Firstly one has to make the distinction between honorific and humble. To put it simply, honorific is when one refers to someone else's actions, whereas humble is where one refers to their own. You use polite speech or 'keigo' (敬語) when addressing someone who is above the speaker (bosses, older friends, senpai etc.)

To form the honorific form, you usually use the passive form.

連絡させる - to contact.

Note that this format is also the passive and in some cases (such as Type 2 verbs) the potential.

To avoid this complexity, one can create the honorific and humble forms by the following;

Honorific = お + 'masu-stem' + になる
Humble = お + 'masu stem' + する

Let's use the verb 乗る (to ride) as an example.

日本に旅行するなら、ＪＡＬでお降りになったほうがいいです。
When you go to Japan, you should fly via JAL.

日本に旅行して行った時、ＪＡＬでお降りしました。
When I went to Japan, I flew via JAL.

Some verbs in Japanese have specific honorific and humble forms;

する　（なさる - いたす）
いる　（いらっしゃる - おる）
行く　（いらっしゃる - まいる）
来る　（いらっしゃる - まいる・伺う）
食べる　（召し上がる - 頂く）
飲む　（召し上がる - 頂く）
聞く　（伺う）
言う　（おっしゃる - 申す）
見る　（ご覧になる）
知る　（ご存知 - 存じる）
もらう　（いただく）
くれる　（くださる）
あげる　（さしあげる）

Some pronouns and nouns include their own honorific form,

どこ　＝　どちら
どう　＝　いかが
だれ　＝　どなた
これ・ここ　＝　こちら
それ・そこ　＝　そちら
あれ・あそこ　＝　あちら

リチャードの家　＝　リチャードのお宅
いい　＝　よろしい
が好き　＝　がお好き

Special words that denote belonging, such as family, money and friends (and more bizarrely, tea and alcohol) use the prefix お or ご depending on the type of word. Normally words with the Chinese reading (that is to say the on'yomi) have the prefix ご whereas the words with Japanese origin have the prefix お.

お酒を飲みになりますか？　- will you drink this alcohol?
明日、ご両親にいらっしゃいませんか？ - will your parents come tomorrow?