Yes I'm in Japan!

Its come as a bit of a shock really as the time has flown by and I can't believe I'm here. No more than three days ago my world was shook upside down by the story that I was getting a JASSO scholarship of around 80,000 yen a month (albeit half of last year's figure due to the recession) and then because of this, I got told I would be relocating to Kawasaki instead of Setagaya. This, THREE days before I was supposed to leave. Not the best of timing really.

And thus the Friday that news was broken came Sunday - the day I leave this beautiful country to say hello to a country I am being told I should love.

Well it started with a bang really and I can't believe its so soon since I said goodbye to my parents and I am here now in Tokyo - the fair capital of Japan. What the hell happened? How did it happen. Is this a dream?

The day started with me getting on a domestic flight from Newcastle to London Heathrow and then onto Tokyo-Narita. The first leg started off well as I went through without any hassle. The guy didn't even bother to check my passport because it was a British one. More worrying is that this was a case and not even the real passport. Oh well.

Once we landed in Terminal 5, I decided to try and craftily go through some lifts meant for security personnel. Oops and then almost took the wrong train to terminal 3. Double oops. However the triple oops and the unbelievable strike-out for dumbness came when I tried to check into the JAL flight and couldn't find my passport. 5 minutes of frantic searching and pure embarrassment, I forgot I had hidden in the many layers of my laptop case. These layers and the notorious passport grab will come to haunt me through the entire procedure of Japan so far.

So after some quick beers and a stroll around Heathrow - which might I add was absolutely boring, I boarded a 11 and 45 minute flight. Yes an 11 and 45 minute flight. Let me just say this, there is no way in hell I'm doing that again - with that leg room. Fine for a small Japanese person. But I'm lanky gaijin twat so there is no way I'm doing that again for fear of my legs becoming crippled by a lack of blood. This thing is getting upgraded to premium economy the moment I fly back. I don't know how I survived. It felt like I was on the flight for days just getting to Estonia, let alone the middle of Siberia.

I ended up watching the new Wolverine film, which was shit, and then Night at the Museum 2, which was equally as shit and then Angels and Demons which started off alright but then descended into the realms of shitness. Thankfully only back to the future 2 (with Japanese subtitles saved the day) but sadly it was too late. I was about to land in Tokyo, well Chiba which is bloody miles away.

I don't know why, but you think once you reach the eastern edge of Russian you think you should be there in Japan in no-time, which is a load of bollocks really. It takes bloody ages, although actually flying over the island of Japan, from Niigata to Chiba is really really short - sometimes you forget how small the island is in terms of width.

Once you land in Japan, the Japanese efficiency machine kicks in and let me tell you it fires off like an electro beam of smiles and 'okayusama' (honoured customers.) If only I wasn't so stupid not to fill the customs and entry forms out I would have been through even quicker. Firstly, was the infra-red scan to check for swine-flu with plenty of Japanese staff on board wearing masks, handing out their own little masks and generally striking the living fear of god into your lungs. Then onwards to the immigration check, and IF you fill out your card properly it takes about seven seconds even with a student visa. One fingerprint check, one photo of my ugly mug and a nice 'thank you come again'. Then, you go to the customs deck and IF, you fill out the card properly it takes about seven seconds even with a few bottles of vodka. *hic* This process was complicated by me, putting my passport away as some sort of bizarre security reflex only to have it removed again at every single check-point.

By this time of fannying about with the patented passport reflex, I was busting and then burst into the nearest lavs right across from my baggage claim area. The odd thing is, Narita provided the standard western toilet and the good ol' squat and thrust methods you see outta of the early Meiji period or the rural areas of France. I was busting, but I was not busting to go whole hog on the whole cultural experience of shitting in a traditional loo on my first few seconds in the country.

So after releasing a gigantic camel-style 11 hour 45 minute piss collection out of my bladder, I hurried out to the baggage claim to see that I was one of the lucky few to have had their bags singaled out for the "IS THIS YOUR LUCKY BAG?" draw. Yes! I must have won something. Well no in fact, the dreams of a nice 50,000 yen cash reward or even two weeks in Okinawa was simply a JAL company point of telling you that you were too bloody slow to collect your baggage, otherwise we will sell it off as a cash prize. Cue lots of shouting by the staff in keigo. Wonderful stuff.

Out of the arrivals and you head straight into the main area where you can buy Narita express tickets. Narita Express is great, not only is it relatively quick and easy, but its air-conditoned and it heads straight to the major stations in Tokyo. Not bad for around 20 quid (2900 yen-ish) It also passes quickly over the Shibuya crossing, which sent my heart a flutter after the rows and rows of the grimey Chiba landscape. True that's Japan but you want something a bit of a 'wow' factor once you get to Tokyo. The experience of landing at Narita is kinda underwhelming really as you don't pass over Tokyo and you don't see jack from the airplane. You may as well be landing in Shizuoka really, sorry Shizuoka.

Its all a bit surreal really. Shinjuku. Just walking through Shinjuku station is mental. The amount of people, the amount of young girls wanting me to buy anki-pan. The amount of mobile-phones. The amount of trains and exits. After a while I did find my way out after traversing what seemed like endless streets and shops. Shinjuku is not really a mind-blowing district of Japan but it is very very Japanese with its endless little shops and restaurants, large scale buildings and lots of hustle and bustle - but no way near Shibuya levels, which is where every single young person goes on their nights out.

The hotel I'm staying at is not far from the Hanazono shrine, but the thing is there are two problems to getting to my hotel successfully. Firstly, there is the distance, which although appears small on the map is bloody mind-numbingly quite far in Tokyo. And secondly, there is the fact that muggins here is carrying a giant fucking laptop, several items of electrical equipment, a 15kg rucksack and some duty free. Its just a bit of a disaster really. Argh. Anyways, I found my hotel, because thankfully they have a gigantic sign which you see right from the other end of the Meiji-dori. You really cannot miss it. The joys of booking with a decent hotel has paid dividends. But don't let that fool you, its as the Japanese say 'taihen kurushii' (bloody painful)

So I checked in and once again had to the gaijin-thing of registering my passport number and then had to go through the process of juggling bottles of alcohol and paperwork but by this time the passport reflex was at a much higher level and I managed to whip out my bad boy and sign the forms.

The room I'm staying at is pretty small, very small by western standards. However this is probably a private condominium in Japan. Its just a bed and as all you sad bastards are aware of, a fucking creepy toilet too. So I set down my things and within two seconds I had managed to select the porn channels on the TV, completely unintentional mind you. *ahem* I just farted around with trying to find the volume and instead hit the 'yuu-ryou' (pay per view channels.) Thankfully I didn't decide to go further and pay some extra yen to see some pixelated blurbs spit roasting a Japanese girl. They give you one free minute and after that it tells you to pay. Incidentally if you do want to pay, you have to go out back and put your money into a vending machine to get a card which allows you to watch it. I'm not joking btw... and no I did not do this.

Because it was really late I headed up for a small ten minute walk to the konbini I passed, which is sort of a midget konbini really as it just stocks small little items and is dwarfish to a regular Lawson you see dotted around Japan. Anyhoo, I ended buying two bottles of coke which came to a pound each (welcome to Tokyo Rich) and some bizarre snacks and treats which altogether came to about £7.50. I can't be arsed getting a meal. Its about 7pm local time and I'm just tired and a bit thirsty. Shinjuku will be there for a while at least.

Weather-wise I can't see the fuss. It is eaxctly like the UK. Its humid but not killer humid. It was a cool 24 last night and it stays this way most of the night and without the sun you can hang around with a t-shirt watching men stroll out of izakaya's across the road for some cafty cigs as the hordes of keitai-toting girls line the streets. Its not hot, but its not cold either. Its just ideal strolling weather.

Well tommorrow is an even bigger day. I have to locate the Odawara line in Shinjuku station, which is not part of the JR line and hence a bastard to find and then head out to Ikuta and ring up my Japanese hosts who will accomodate me in a nice little mansion (aka: flat) in the outskirts of Kawasaki, which is about 6km from my university in Japan (about 20 minutes on the train) and about 30 minutes from Yokohama, again a city I know little about, was promised something there and so far have been shot in the stomach by a certain little miss ignoremelots over there. I hope to good I run into her in her place of work, I hope I make it look catastrpophic as well - especially if she refuses to acknowledge I exists. For I am okaykusama now. Haha. Oh well, that's another story for another day.

26 hours and no sleep, so I'm off to bed to nurse a bit of this jet-lag. Jaa ne.

You may notice one of the link on the side of my blog:

http://www.his-euro.co.uk

HIS Europe are a Japanese travel agents who for want of a better word are 'awesome'. If anyone is thinking of going to Japan for a year to study/teach/sodomise young girls then I would recommend the above company. I booked a return flight for Japan for £499 with that company. Far cheaper than anywhere else I looked and they were lighting quick to respond to my request.

Beats STA travel by about some margin. So check them out.

Okay, shameless plug end.

This week I've been having something of a recurring dream. I am sat alone in a windowless room, my arms tied behind my back and my legs strapped to a wooden chair and my mouth gagged with an oily rag. The chair is moist and the room smells of an acrid ammonia. I look upwards and see a gigantic chrysanthemum staring back me.

As I look closely, my eyes squinting due to this overpowering smell of ammonia, I notice that it has a nose, in fact I can make out two eyes and even a mouth. Slowly but surely a see a gap form amongst the small twiny little flower petals. And yes indeed, suddenly, a mouth forms and begins to speak to me. Yet nothing actually comes out from under its little gap of a mouth. It lets out a sigh, a sort of distempered little outtake of breath and with a slight adjustment its rotund flowery little face turns into disappointment and suddenly becomes distorted turning into a clear frowning face. The once neutral expression of this giant chrysanthemum has suddenly turned very sad. Once again its mouth opens and the little sides of its mouth open slighter wider and it draws itself in to my oily stained mouth and sweating forehead.

As it leans over, examining my curious sweating forehead, sat alone tied to this chair in this windowless room it looks as its about to whisper something into my ear;

Wake..... up.....
Its...... time.....

And that is when my dream ends. I return to normality and recover my consciousness and discover that I am in bed having suffered yet another giant chrysanthemum related dream.

Things have hit the ground running since Monday after I finally, yes finally received my certificate of eligibility from Japan. I've now booked the time off in 2 weeks to go to Edinburgh to turn this tiny bit of paper into my magical Visa that allows me into Japan.

Things are mostly a go now. All my flights are booked and barring any mishaps I should be in Tokyo in the 14th of September. I'm flying from Newcastle to Heathrow on the 13th and then on from Heathrow to Japan. I'll then be staying a hotel close to Shinjuku and then the next day I'm ready to head down to Seijo - to start my life as an exchange student there.

Thankfully Seijo have spared me the indignity of being poor in Japan, and barring me going to the stripclubs and soaplands on a regular basis, I should be okay for money. My rent works out at around £140 a month. Which is just fantastic really. Especially for Tokyo. My classes start on the 24th and I begin life as a foreigner on the 18th when I register as a fully fledged gaijin.

I'm pretty scared now, because its less than 6 weeks away and I am lost in a torrent of emotions and chrysanthemum related dreams. This year is going to be insane, and I mean that in various literal and non-literal senses.

PS: if you are confused by the chrysanthemum - its one of the national symbols of the Japanese state.

Still no Certificate of Eligibility. At this rate I could create a dramatic symposium about its life story. What is deeply worrying me is the fact that it takes around a week to process the visa and then I need to book various things like plane tickets and travel insurance. This would be fine, if only if it wasn't for the nagging dates creeping up on me. I leave the UK in 6 weeks and so far I have done nothing. I can't do anything. How can I book my plane tickets, if I don't have the document that says I am entitled to be in Japan? It would be a waste of 600 quid. I've been told, don't book unless you have this golden ticket and so far I don't. I even don't know where I'm going to be living....


.....in 6 WEEKS!

I'm tempted to see if I can actually enroll in classes in Japan as an exchange student with the bizarre addendum of not actually residing in Japan.

Hoo-de-fucking-hum

Its been a while since I blogged about my year abroad in Japan (some 6 to 7 weeks away I reckon.)

To show how completely unprepared I am, here's how Project Year Abroad Japan stands at the moment.

Certificate of Eligibitly? Nope.
Student Visa? Nope
Plane tickets? Nope
Accommodation in Japan sorted? Nope
Travel Insurance? Nope
Shipping costs evaluated? Nope
Extra Japanese studying done? Nope

So there we go, I've done nothing so far to contribute to the Year Abroad. Quite frankly, I can't be arsed booking plane tickets and possible hostels at the minute. As I've said over and over again it just seems like one big pain in the logistical arse.

If things do go to plane and I can be bothered then I will possibly fly out on either the 6th or 13th of September. Hopefully the CoE will arrive tomorrow, meaning I have to get up early. I'm still a bit annoyed at the uni I'm going to. I still haven't had explicit info on when we can arrive in Japan (thankfully the girl I'm going with had the hindsight to ask and has now booked her plane tickets.) I also don't know where I'm going to be living next year. Its all quite frustrating giving the fact it takes 5 working days to send documents to and from Japan. Time is not our side. Admittedly they only have a few international students, but that doesn't mean they can leave us in the lurch like this.

Anyways, I'll reserve criticism and/or judgement until I get there. It still hasn't sunk in yet. I haven't made any plans whatsoever. I honestly don't know what I want to do or see. This is partly due to the entire experience waining somewhat since the two years I started this course. yawnage. I just want to eat some good ramen again, you know?

I haven't slept for the past few days. I haven't showered for about a week either. All I can hear in my head is the sound of '99 Luftballons' and childhood memories of the Berlin Wall. I'm a nostalgic quivering wreck of nerves, a giant ball of sweaty pubic hair and alcohol fueled vitriol. I'm losing weight thanks to pure laziness and a desire to eat nothing whatsoever. I'm not even depressed. But I'm not even happy either... What the hell is wrong with me?

Hast du etwas Zeit für mich, dann singe ich ein Lied für dich...

Japan is now firmly on the horizon. My certificate of eligibility is winging its way to my doorstep sometime this week (bizarrely my Uni have decided to send it themselves rather than it coming direct from the Japanese government) and now its just up to me to finalise travel dates etc. Whilst I would love to go early, its a matter of studying and preparation. If I was to leave at the end of August or even the first few days of September - I would be going with zero preparation, both mentally and logistically. Simply put I haven't prepared much for Japan. I don't even know what I want to do when I get there. Erm yeah. The entire experience is kinda flat at the minute. Its like I don't care tbh, but at the same time I do but am powerless to change my opinions or mood. I don't know how I'm going to survive out there for a year, leaving the UK behind. I've still yet to feel excited about this. Its feeling like one giant inconvenience.

Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont, hielt man für Ufos aus dem All, darum schickte ein General

Japan is basically like one giant blur on the horizon. Something I've waited for two year but now the entire experience is leaving me with the mood of complete apathy. I'm more interested in leaving the UK and experiencing being a student elsewhere rather than experiencing Japan itself. Japan has just become a friend to me, rather than an intimate lover.

99 Kriegsminister...Streichholz und Benzinkanister.

My Japanese lnguage ability has taken a nosedive of late and I really, REALLY need to start studying again. I've simply forgotten so much and I need to get these fears out of my head. So much kanji, grammar and vocab - I've simply been to preoccupied with wasting time and have neglected the Japanese. My goals have simply not been set.

Well fuck that.

Ließen keinen Platz für Sieger, Kriegsminister gibt's nicht mehr...

That's not gonna keep me down.

Und auch keine Düsenflieger, heute zieh' ich meine Runden....

Because, tomorrow I'm back to these kanji and stomping Japanese to the curb.

Seh' die Welt in Trümmern liegen, Hab' 'nen Luftballon gefunden

You hear me Japanese? You are going to fucking die!!!!

Denk' an dich und lass' ihn fliegen

*ugh* I probably need to get some sleep and possibly a change of song.

I would love to know how one surives in Sheffield without a laptop, an Ipod, a book to read or quite litterally in the case of me - absolutely nothing in my room.

This is the harsh reality facing me at the moment, as I sit all alone in Sheffield, flatmates deserted in a room that has been stripped clean, waiting for the soul-filling journey that will take me from the City of Steel to the City of Donny and then onwards onto Darlington, then home-sweet-home. The past 22 months or so have been the greatest and most emotionally challenging of my life and it is one to which I close a chapter to with thanks to the people who have made this possible, and then onto writing a new chapter with the large emblazoned headline of Japan, which will become the starting point of the next 14 months or so of my life.

Its very sad to leave the people I care about in Sheffield; close and random friends, inspirational guides, well-wishers, my teachers and lecturers and everyone else who has supported me in making this small dream become a big reality. What I am facing at the moment is a huge pivot in my life, the turning point not just for the here and now, but possibly for the rest of my life. I enter the tunnel as one man and will leave it as another - for better or for worse.

I start my life again at ground zero (albeit with a few friends and classmates in Japan to help me if I get stuck) and enter a mystical world which I do not see as the glittery lights of Shinjuku or the hazy sunsets of a cherry-blossom spring in Yoyogi Koen. I see this chapter as representing anything but Japan. Japan is merely a by-word, something that is environmental to my changing state of being, a changing state of my inner-self from one form to the next.

This change is confronting me with tons of emotions that range from dangerous interpretation and cynicism to childhood excitement and anxiety. Every single one feels like a sharp prickly pin-drop that pierces into my sweaty, clamoured body. It keeps me awake at night. Its all I ever think about. Not the journey of simply going to Japan - but the journey that will awaken me spiritually and emotionally. I hope that this journey brings me fortune, and helps me discover myself and what I want to do - because right now I am unsure of what the future brings to the table and whether or not I want to eat what is front of me regardless of how juicy it may seem to the person standing next to me.

Yes, I will miss Sheffield. I will miss everyone who has had a part in my life for the past 22 months. But ultimately, I am going to miss the person who is sitting here typing this and who leave the UK in the next 2 months. I will miss him. Because I don't know if 14 months from now, he will be the same person.

I am being told that Sheffield will not be quite the same without me, but I think it is me who will not be quite the same without Sheffield.

And it is that closing comment that ends this rather turbulent chapter in my life. Thank you Sheffield for all the memories, onwards Japan and the potential wonders it may bring.

The results are in, the polls have been tallied and the choice of Year Abroad 2009/10 is;

Seijo

A few things that makes Seijo seem a good choice for me;

1. Its just outside of central Tokyo in the lovely residential area of Setagaya, just 15 minutes into Central Tokyo and 50 minutes ride to Yokohama. My flatmate also lived in Setagaya and I know someone in Sheffield who went to school there!!!

2. There is no standard uni accomodation at Seijo, so I'll be getting my own place at reduced rate. No goddam mongen (curfew) and no living with other international students.

3. There are hardly any international students at Seijo giving it a distinct Japanese feel to it. In fact Sheffield is the only other partner institution from the UK, the rest are from the US (about 3 I think), Australia (again just the one) and some from Belgium and France. So in short, the gaijin population is tiny. This is very good news if I want to improve my Japanese.

4. Seijo allow me to study non-Japanese language modules if I want, meaning I could improve my Japanese fairly quickly.

5. Seijo has its own internal scholarship programme, meaning if I don't get the government scholarship I will be able to apply for theirs. Fingers crossed...

HOWEVER...

The very same things that make Seijo seem appealing are the same ones that are putting me off. The lack of international students (I think I will antitipcate I will be the only British person there!) as well as the distance from Yokohama and the whole scholarship issue is scaring me...

Onwards and upwards. I can at least start to research now and harrass the few Seijo students over here at Sheffield on an exchange programme for the year.

Elsewhere some people have been unhappy about their choice of uni. I know for a fact had I chosen 'outside of Tokyo' on my form, I would have been sent somewhere like Okayama or Kanazawa. Beautiful yes, but I would get bored soooo quickly. However this year 10 people are being sent to Doushisha in Kyoto which itself is great for learning Japanese but rubbish if you want the whole experience of not hanging about with your mates all day and night. Certainly going to Seijo is going to throw me the deep end straight away.

I should also add, next week I am certain (well maybe 80-90% certain) that I will be told of my university choice for Japan for Year III (aka: Year Abroad.) Just to crank up the knob even further. If its one of the unis I want to go to, this may just give me the desire to push on, or give me the much needed hate to kill other people in my year for going to a uni or place they are so fucking apathetic over...

And besides, what happens if people drop out after they have been selected to go to one university? -_-

Actually, it might be this weekend. Oh blimey. I'm shitting myself.

Today I helped moved my flatmates things from west one across west street and into the appartment. The trip should take 10 minutes at most. But when you are carrying the entire back catalogue of every single manga ever written its difficult. However I got a free subway sandwich out it, so it wasn't be that bad. Now my arms is hurting - hahaha. Oh man.

I also got the cold shoulder treatment from a few Japanese people through e-mail and MSN recently. I sent some e-mails out out kindly as both thank yous and keep in touch - because they are generally quite nice and kind people (and some also cute - but I'm not going into that just yet) and had some zero responses. Shame. I am such a bad person? Surely not... Perhaps they are just too busy. I know I am. I recently broke off a connection with some random Japanese girl I met in London a few months ago - but that was partly down to pure laziness on my part. Mamiko I think her name was. Hmm.

So far only Minami, Taku and Saori have taken me up on the offer of helping my Japanese through e-mail. Yukari would help me out, but only if I moving to Nagoya (I am still not sure about this.) My flatmate thinks Nagoya is bad. Amongst many Japanese, they see it as a rural bumpkin town - even though its a huge metropolis and the 3rd largest city in Japan. >o< I guess, I want to go to a national university for the cost - but the majority in Tokyo are private. I still think Rikkyo looks good, but the fact I have a 2.1 from last years - means I can apply to most unis without clear academic rejection. But this bye the bye, I need to pass the exams first. I'll worry about this around Christmas time, when I have time to plan everything (including my trip to Russia and China.) There are some many things to consider. Its not just the city, its also the cost, the course, the practicals and people. For some reason - i do not want to go to Sophia because of the number of Americans there. I'm not anti-America, I just know it would fucking grate me for one year. I know I would really enjoy Nagoya. I'm not one of this people who view Japan as the big buildings and huge electronic gadgets - I'm one of the people who like the nature and the abiltiy to travel otuside to some small towns to see real Japanese people.

Whether there is a Japanese girl there or not is a moot point. As I said before, I value my friendship with her as much as I do with Saori. That's what I'm telling myself anyways. I'm sure she'll want to see me, regardless of my relationship status.